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Anon gives up dating apps
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Greentext
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Being a chad isn't really about being buff or something. It's about doing what you did. As you said, everyone in the bar was eyeing her, wondering, imagining. You were the one that immediately sat down and started talking. You risked possible humiliation, the "walk of shame" away from her, etc. You were 10 steps ahead when people didn't realize they could walk up to her.
But at the end of the day, greentext still stands. Your wife didn't really walk up there alone - her friend was late. She would've been in a "group" otherwise. She probably wouldn't get into that uber and gotten to the party if the friend wasn't late.
Yeah shit, I really didn't mean for the moral of my story to be prey on vulnerable women. But that is kinda why it worked for me isn't it. But she did walk in alone, and I did pounce.
I was really just trying to give advice to anyone struggling. Just be at the place, have shit going on, be confident and charismatic.
It's really not hard.
I don't think you preyed on a vulnerable woman. Wasn't my intention to say that.
But you literally won the lottery. Lottery winners shouldn't give investing advice to broke people. Point is you were lucky. Lucky she was single. Lucky that she liked your looks, lucky that she went in alone, lucky that she had no sense of self preservation and went into that Uber. Lucky that she didn't get a dating app, since women tend to get 100s of responses if not thousands when she's really attractive.
Don't get me wrong, I was lucky too with my past relationships. Some seemed like fate, everything lining up. An old flame reaching out out of nowhere. Me going to exam prep for something that I wasn't even doing an exam for and meeting someone I've been crushing on but didn't know at all. Taking a first date to a predominately lizard pet store (saw it during a walk and acted like going there was planned) not knowing she was a huge lizard fan and actually had geckos at home. But at the end of the day, opportunities like that happen very rarely. When you are looking to date, going to a bar isn't the best choice.
Eh, I take that as exaggeration. I'm guessing a lot of that was in OP's head.
OP was with friends. Yeah, they probably would've given him a hard time, but it would've come from a place of support.
It's scary to put yourself out there, and most of the time it doesn't pay off. But at the end of the day, you need to take a chance every now and then or you'll always get what you've always got.
I don't take that as an exaggeration. Someone in a club dress, attractive, walking into a regular bar and sitting alone will turn heads, even as a curiosity rather than lust or romantic interest. Regulars will be eyeballing for sure, you don't see that every day. Random five dudes comming in in jeans, going off to play pool? Happens all the time.
When talking of the walk of shame, the friends are the least you worry about. I'm talking about the bar, the laughs etc. It will happen when you go so confidently and get shut down immediately. I wouldn't be much bothered, but would still need to walk the walk when shut down
Right, but the implication was that she was a bombshell, or at least that's how I read it.
Eh, I care far less about what random people in a bar think than what my friends think. I can always go to a different bar, I can't as easily get new friends, and good friends would go with me to that other bar if I felt uncomfortable after being completely shot down.
That said, most people don't particularly care. You might get a couple of snickers, but most just want to keep to themselves. At least that's been the case at the bars I've been to.
If you take everything that someone says and say "oh I don't care about that" then no argument can be made. It's a social situation where someone getting shut down is a humiliation. You say "I can always go to a different bar" which when you don't care about random people, you wouldn't need to do.
Sure. I'm just saying that, for the typical person, the humiliation from others being present is probably very little compared to the humiliation from the actual rejection. Maybe that's different at college bars or something, but in most regular bars, most people don't care. At least for me, I'm just as nervous walking up to someone in a bar as I am at a club (even fewer people looking) or something, approaching a stranger is the main thing causing the nervousness.