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this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2024
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Melbourne
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People and Culture would like to remind you how important you are to the organisation.
We value all of our team members, because without you, there would be no company.
As such, we are granting a company wide 10% raise effective immediately.
Also, we have added an extra week to everyone's annual leave balance.
We thank you so much for all your hard work, and hope these measures demonstrate our appreciation of your commitment to our organisation!
And now you awaken to reality..,
Then I realise the cat threw up on my bed
We expect our team members to demonstrate their loyalty in return by working overtime for at least one hour daily, and for six days a week as needed.