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this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
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In my family's fucked up marriages, cheating is almost always the violation that sends the whole thing spinning - no abuse needed. My parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle, in-law grandparents were all destroyed by one side choosing to cheat.
Neither of my parents cheated, as far as I know (and if they had, good chances are I'd have known). They just tortured each other (and the kids) for a decade, while spiraling deeper into certain Catholic mindsets/circles and quiverfull-adjacent nonsense. And then they tortured each other for the better part of yet another decade (taking several years to properly divorce despite being separated, having a long, drawn-out divorce which only further ruined their already long-since ruined lives).
Not invalidating your own experiences here, but it's a big world out there, and there's probably just as many out there with experiences like mine as with yours. As a kid my parents' separation (nasty and destructive as it was) was still a relief, and when it was finalized with a divorce it was all the better. Some things (or many) are simply cursed from the onset.