I was fired for "fraternisation in the workplace". Teenage me was caught snogging the boss's daughter, no less, in the stock area by said boss. Cue "get your hands off my daughter" (he didn't know we were dating) and a meeting later that day being told much more calmly I was being let go for fraternisation. I said it was unfair because he kissed his wife in front of us the previous week, and he said "not that way," and he had a point, but it was still obviously unfair.

Anyway, we started deliberately dating in secret instead of her just not really telling him, and when she rang me she always called me Samantha, which I then used to find exciting (Freud eat your heart out).

I'm convinced that she found it exciting to be disobeying her dad, and would complain to me about her dad saying something like "he's just trying to take advantage of you" and we would reassure each other that I wasn't but she would be much keener those days, it felt like.

When you're a teenager and you find a magic button that gets you nice things, you don't hold back on pressing the button, so if she got a bit unenthusiastic about meeting up, I'd just ring her at home knowing full well that her dad would shout at me if he answered and her mum would quietly also refuse to put me through but tell her to stop me from ringing because it might upset her dad. She'd argue with her parents and get revenge by seeing me and behaving in a manner she new her parents to find improper.

It was really fun while it lasted, but in the end I felt like I shouldn't have to provoke her dad to get with her and stopped doing it. We drifted apart, I don't know whether her heart wasn't in it when she wasn't cross with her dad or I just started worrying about that too much, but I'm pretty sure her dad had been my unintentional wing man all those months. I really think it's properly messed up.

She later dated a guy who I think really was trying to take advantage of her. Also messed up.

Anyway, I got a job at the big chain version of his store and of course she and her friends started shopping there, which resulted in more arguments with her dad.

I guess the moral of the story is make sure you're on good terms with your teenage daughter or she might just go against everything you said just to spite you.