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What is the worst placement for a tattoo?
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On your toddler.
Because, say, you knew the other parent was about to get full custody.
Or just because you're really into Louis Vuitton.
Wait, people do that?
There's room for creativity at least "HE IS MINE!! / MOM" "CALL 911 IF YOU SEE THIS CHILD"
also perhaps, a bit, depressing