Be at peace with the mess. All the software you're using have beend developed on their own, each has a different setup, maintenance work, they don't fit with each other they just kinda not bother each other. Unless you're using all the software included in a bsd or 9front base install, where everything is made to carefully fit, it'll be crappy to look at.
Be at peace with the mess, which also means be at peace with burning some/all of it and starting fresh when something new comes up or you want to "simplify" a part.
The selfhosting, much like art, isn't so much in the output: it's in the process of trying, failing, succedding with a crappy solution, and then goind on with the learning. If you wanted a robust beautiful stack you'd be paying professionals to do that :)
I'd love to know what's really different between -communism, -collectivism, -syndicalism and -mutualism because they all sit well with me (I'm assuming "communism" refers to the end state of society and not the bolshevik autoritarism)