This is entirely alien to me, and I can't understand it, but... As long as you're happy? I hope you are. For the most part, at least. If someone insisted on talking at me for long periods I'd lose my dang mind.
flicker
joined 7 months ago
No but you're legit on to something, because I really think that there are some mirrors that are meant to make you look bad. There was this store in the mall (which closed actually, I bet this was part of why) where any time I put on something to try it, I'll tell you, I'd for sure leave without buying anything! I actually buy a lot of stuff from torrid online but I recognize that's a privilege.
I am over 300 pounds. I am all sympathy. Hell, I'm not even down on myself! Feeling shame and disgust isn't productive, and doesn't accomplish anything, and doesn't help anyone, and makes us less capable of helping others. But yeah, I wish there was like a way to connect with other women who just wanted to like... get healthier. The last time I tried joining fitness Discord channels from Disboard I did an introduction and immediately got 3 creeper DMs from fat chasing dudes! (So don't feel ugly, because men will like anything.)
I hope you're joking when you say your marriage is hell. If you're not, maybe consider not being married? You deserve to not live in hell.
The problem with this is, and it drives me crazy, I keep hearing "if we talked to them-"
I'm a woman! They won't talk to me! Or, if they do, it's to tell me why I'm wrong, because I'm a woman! This isn't something I can deprogram away!
And trust me, I've deprogrammed right-wing shitheads before, who weren't also misogynists. I can't do shit for the ones who aren't willing to talk to me. And the worst part? I have gotten lots of seemingly hopeless people into committed, loving, long-term relationships through the power of just listen to me, I can help you, but nooooo! I have breasts! I'm almost 40! I have a happy, long-term relationship, and I'm a woman, so what can I possibly know!
I'm sick to death of 'we just need to-' No we don't, because we can't. Men need to. Men need to break through this toxic bullshit because we, and by this I mean, women, literally can't. And trying- and trust me on this because I've tried- trying only gets abuse.
I really can't underscore this enough. The wall I come up against is, what do you know, you're a woman. "We" can't talk our way out of this one. The problem of toxic masculinity intentionally boxes women out, making it nigh impossible for women to help.
I support any woman having access to whatever she needs to manage their menstruation, because they're fucking awful. But I've never personally been a fan of putting anything in there for any extended period. I assume anything we use for this purpose is poison, since science didn't even treat women as people who exist until relatively recently.
I am entirely over 'blank won't fuck you' as a response to shit. It's cliched and trite and kills a conversation.
Naw, just ADHD and my eyes jumped to the shortest bullet first.
You needed five points to get to saying you don't know what I'm talking about?
I encourage them to continue trying. For science.
Eta: please don't tell me about it unless you succeed. I was just trying to be supportive.
Please don't believe literally anything you read that references procreation genetics. It turns out, humans are complicated, wars happen, some people value people for their feet more than their faces... there's literally no data that's concrete enough to be valuable enough, and anyone telling you otherwise is doing so either because they're lying to themselves, to you, or selling something.
Source: having read quite a lot of it over my many years on this earth, and watching it be destroyed time and again. Hell, I could write a paper arguing that people typically choose mates based on their appearance, their intelligence, their height, their income, their geography, their history of family trauma, their interests, their smell... And find documentation of various dubiousness to support each argument.
These words are in English, but the sentiment is so foreign to me I can't seem to comprehend it.
...might be fried from work and classwork, tho.
I find it very difficult to empathize with the 'bear thing,' because, as my fiance (who is a man) put it, 'I don't know why anyone would pick any other human over the bear. Bears tend to avoid you and do your own thing. Humans are unpredictable.'
From that perspective, it seemed like a lot of people just got mad because they identify with the word 'man,' here, and don't want to think of themselves as capable of evil. Which would be naive, because everyone is capable of anything.