dennis5wheel

I work with food, think about menus for 5k people three times a day. Most of the food is bad, but sometimes you get lucky and get decent food, like fish or chicken).

Not all clients eat their food, which means huge, and I really mean huge amounts of perfectly fine food get discarded, food the client didn’t even touch, which is simply stupid.

I was born in a country where getting rid of perfectly fine food is one of the stupidest things you can do. It is extremely moronic, only an asshole would do that.

Everyone at my workplace eats some of that food because that way you save money and don’t have to cook back home, and who cares? It’s going in the bin if nobody eats it.

My manager cares apparently, because he asked me if I eat some of that food. My answer was yes, I eat food that I know nobody is going to eat before it goes to the bin and that I'm not the only one, seems to be normalized there. His answer was a typical managerial answer: that’s stealing.

Don’t jump to demonize the manager yet, he was friendly about it. He asked me politely not to eat any food anymore.

But it’s going to be very, very difficult for me to control myself, seeing and smelling that sometimes good food knowing I cannot touch it. I was saving the cost of a full menu per day.

A question for cooks now: do you really eat nothing while cooking? Don’t drink anything?

cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/35140490

Long post

I’m a nurse working ER. I’m also introverted and like keeping to myself. I also may be on the spectrum (haven’t been diagnosed, but I find social cues and when people are being sincere, joking or lying very difficult to understand. I understand what people say literally. Why would they otherwise speak?)

I also separate my job from my personal life, as my job is not my identity. I don’t care about my coworkers’ life but ask the ones who know more than me about anything job related, to learn, to be a better nurse, to have more opportunities.

Today I had a conversation with 2 managers where I was fired. Not from the hospital due to my union but from the ER. In a nutshell, as they put it: they (whoever they might be) see that I’m motivated and want to learn but they find my way of speaking demanding.

I have absolutely no idea what they mean. They didn’t provide any example. They however provided an example where somebody claims I told a student to put a line. I never did such a thing, but I have the feeling they don’t believe me. The never put anything on writing, or gave me anything to sign. I won’t be signing anything from them.

Then one of the managers started a monologue about he’s been working 30 years there, that communication is important. True, communication here is extremely relevant, but about procedures, patients and who does what, not about why Americans are idiots or how many children you have, not to the point of ignoring alarms, not to the point where I am the only one entering patient’s data in the computer while my coworkers speak about what to cook for dinner. Oftentimes I was the only one noticing how we’re under supplied or that some ECG cables don’t work while the chatty ones did they thing and ignored I was working while they lazy around.

I didn’t get to say all of this because they interrupted. It’s like they believe the talkative ones over me. Why would I want to work for people like that?

After this both sides talked but didn’t listen to what the other side had to say. I felt they weren’t listening to me. Why should I listen to them?

Before I left I told them I’m looking for a unit where I can learn. That’s ALL I need from the workplace to be better. To them this is not good enough.

To me it looks like this: you don’t mingle with us (us being coworkers and management), therefore you are worse than us and deserve to be ignored, but I’m not at a workplace to socialize, but to learn and to earn money. Am I the only person on earth to think like this? Why can’t people keep their opinions to themselves? I leave them alone and only talk about work. If I have nothing to say, I say nothing and learn. I don’t understand why people are so needy for conversation and thin skinned. I didn’t say this out loud because in my past people have bullied me for being me.

I was also accused of not being polite.

I’ll miss working that ER because in the 8 weeks I was there I learned stuff you don’t learn on other units. To me this unit was a good one because I learned new things and people left me alone during downtime to figure out how procedures and machines work, people didn’t complain when I looked the internet for instruction manuals or asked coworkers if we give sodium bicarbonate by metabolic acidosis or alkalosis. I was an motivated coworker, even when people who were supposed to train me sat and did nothing while I was taking samples. I always asked what I didn’t know.

I’ll also miss working with most doctors, because they were always ready to teach me stuff, so I really don’t understand why managers say my way of speaking is demanding.

My managers don’t see or don’t want to see that people treat you better and forgive your mistakes if you give them attention, if you’re likable. I’m not likable. They also don’t see that they say a lot of stupid crap if a coworker prefers to keep to himself. I also find this sad. I feel they think I’m doing this on purpose.

If you’re an extrovert and have read so far: I don’t think you understand how taxing is to care about things that are simply, irrelevant. It’s like my managers expect me to make theatrics and give attention to everyone I work with. I already did this on a previous job and it was ridiculous: fake smiling to a secretary and asking her stupid stuff for 5 minutes straight, smiling like a clown because otherwise she would feel offended. Why is that my job? Sometimes I work with 8 coworkers. Am I supposed to be a sucker with all of them? I find that childish.

I feel they presented an ultimatum: either give us and coworkers attention or be fired. I didn’t bulge because they didn’t listen.

And I still don’t know if this is a good outcome, because I’m not going to change what I am to conform to some extroverted standards of what a good coworkers is supposed to be, because I can’t and I don’t understand them (extroverts).

I don’t know if this puts me on the spectrum and I find it unfair being treated so differently because I like to keep to myself and learn during downtime.

I’ve always have such issues working for other employers. It’s clear this is who I am and trying to change me it’s like expecting a gay to like women.

But if this means I’m alone in the universe, that I’m always the loner people always talk shit about and marginalize, how am I supposed to live my life and work life then?

ETA: I inquired the union about protections for people on the spectrum and I’m waiting for an answer but even if I get a diagnosis I don’t want to expose myself to more bullying by disclosing it to my employer: the hospital I work at is full of gossips.

So what do I do?

Long post

I’m a nurse working ER. I’m also introverted and like keeping to myself. I also may be on the spectrum (haven’t been diagnosed, but I find social cues and when people are being sincere, joking or lying very difficult to understand. I understand what people say literally. Why would they otherwise speak?)

I also separate my job from my personal life, as my job is not my identity. I don’t care about my coworkers’ life but ask the ones who know more than me about anything job related, to learn, to be a better nurse, to have more opportunities.

Today I had a conversation with 2 managers where I was fired. Not from the hospital due to my union but from the ER. In a nutshell, as they put it: they (whoever they might be) see that I’m motivated and want to learn but they find my way of speaking demanding.

I have absolutely no idea what they mean. They didn’t provide any example. They however provided an example where somebody claims I told a student to put a line. I never did such a thing, but I have the feeling they don’t believe me. The never put anything on writing, or gave me anything to sign. I won’t be signing anything from them.

Then one of the managers started a monologue about he’s been working 30 years there, that communication is important. True, communication here is extremely relevant, but about procedures, patients and who does what, not about why Americans are idiots or how many children you have, not to the point of ignoring alarms, not to the point where I am the only one entering patient’s data in the computer while my coworkers speak about what to cook for dinner. Oftentimes I was the only one noticing how we’re under supplied or that some ECG cables don’t work while the chatty ones did they thing and ignored I was working while they lazy around.

I didn’t get to say all of this because they interrupted. It’s like they believe the talkative ones over me. Why would I want to work for people like that?

After this both sides talked but didn’t listen to what the other side had to say. I felt they weren’t listening to me. Why should I listen to them?

Before I left I told them I’m looking for a unit where I can learn. That’s ALL I need from the workplace to be better. To them this is not good enough.

To me it looks like this: you don’t mingle with us (us being coworkers and management), therefore you are worse than us and deserve to be ignored, but I’m not at a workplace to socialize, but to learn and to earn money. Am I the only person on earth to think like this? Why can’t people keep their opinions to themselves? I leave them alone and only talk about work. If I have nothing to say, I say nothing and learn. I don’t understand why people are so needy for conversation and thin skinned. I didn’t say this out loud because in my past people have bullied me for being me.

I was also accused of not being polite.

I’ll miss working that ER because in the 8 weeks I was there I learned stuff you don’t learn on other units. To me this unit was a good one because I learned new things and people left me alone during downtime to figure out how procedures and machines work, people didn’t complain when I looked the internet for instruction manuals or asked coworkers if we give sodium bicarbonate by metabolic acidosis or alkalosis. I was an motivated coworker, even when people who were supposed to train me sat and did nothing while I was taking samples. I always asked what I didn’t know.

I’ll also miss working with most doctors, because they were always ready to teach me stuff, so I really don’t understand why managers say my way of speaking is demanding.

My managers don’t see or don’t want to see that people treat you better and forgive your mistakes if you give them attention, if you’re likable. I’m not likable. They also don’t see that they say a lot of stupid crap if a coworker prefers to keep to himself. I also find this sad. I feel they think I’m doing this on purpose.

If you’re an extrovert and have read so far: I don’t think you understand how taxing is to care about things that are simply, irrelevant. It’s like my managers expect me to make theatrics and give attention to everyone I work with. I already did this on a previous job and it was ridiculous: fake smiling to a secretary and asking her stupid stuff for 5 minutes straight, smiling like a clown because otherwise she would feel offended. Why is that my job? Sometimes I work with 8 coworkers. Am I supposed to be a sucker with all of them? I find that childish.

I feel they presented an ultimatum: either give us and coworkers attention or be fired. I didn’t bulge because they didn’t listen.

And I still don’t know if this is a good outcome, because I’m not going to change what I am to conform to some extroverted standards of what a good coworkers is supposed to be, because I can’t and I don’t understand them (extroverts).

I don’t know if this puts me on the spectrum and I find it unfair being treated so differently because I like to keep to myself and learn during downtime.

I’ve always have such issues working for other employers. It’s clear this is who I am and trying to change me it’s like expecting a gay to like women.

But if this means I’m alone in the universe, that I’m always the loner people always talk shit about and marginalize, how am I supposed to live my life and work life then?

ETA: I inquired the union about protections for people on the spectrum and I’m waiting for an answer but even if I get a diagnosis I don’t want to expose myself to more bullying by disclosing it to my employer: the hospital I work at is full of gossips.

So what do I do?

I just learned there's something called a 'wallet' I need to download to use public transportation where I live because I'm supposed to download the qr code there. I screenshot the qr code found in my profile but the company insisted per email I need to use a wallet, either google or apple (and this is android).

Several questions:

why doesn't it work to screenshot the qr code?

I won't use anything google related. What f-droid or droid-ify wallet should I use?

any other workarounds i should be aware of?

cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/29014124

When I'm working and have a question, I usually ask the ones I know to be knowledgeable and with ample job experience for advice, because they're the most qualified to give me the best advice.

Sometimes, when I do this, an extrovert who needs to talk will try to answer at the same time the person I asked is answering, meaning I get 2 very similar answers on stereo if that makes sense, but I cannot concentrate on any of the 2 stereo answers.

Sometimes this happens with 3 coworkers: the knowledgeable one I asked the question to and 2 extroverts answering at the same time the person I asked answers.

I hate it when this happens. I'm clearly talking to ONE person, looking at him in the eye. Why do other people feel I'm talking to them, even though I am not making eye contact with them?

I mean, can you guys listen to 2 people answering a question simultaneously and get both answers right?

I've started telling them I cannot hear the answer if they speak at the same time and sometimes I have to tell them I'm not talking to them, but to a specific coworker. So far, they're backing off, but why are (some?) extroverts like this?

To me, the best way to learn something if I'm not reading a book or manual is with one on one conversations: I ask a question, knowledgeable person gives an answer, I write down what I know I'm gonna have to remember and move on. Is this something only introverts do?

When I'm working and have a question, I usually ask the ones I know to be knowledgeable and with ample job experience for advice, because they're the most qualified to give me the best advice.

Sometimes, when I do this, an extrovert who needs to talk will try to answer at the same time the person I asked is answering, meaning I get 2 very similar answers on stereo if that makes sense, but I cannot concentrate on any of the 2 stereo answers.

Sometimes this happens with 3 coworkers: the knowledgeable one I asked the question to and 2 extroverts answering at the same time the person I asked answers.

I hate it when this happens. I'm clearly talking to ONE person, looking at him in the eye. Why do other people feel I'm talking to them, even though I am not making eye contact with them?

I mean, can you guys listen to 2 people answering a question simultaneously and get both answers right?

I've started telling them I cannot hear the answer if they speak at the same time and sometimes I have to tell them I'm not talking to them, but to a specific coworker. So far, they're backing off, but why are (some?) extroverts like this?

To me, the best way to learn something if I'm not reading a book or manual is with one on one conversations: I ask a question, knowledgeable person gives an answer, I write down what I know I'm gonna have to remember and move on. Is this something only introverts do?

I watched the last severance episode.

A manager (an 80's looking, strong and tall black man so you identify him) is told during a performance review he "uses too many big words".

To me, while this character can appear pretentious, he is simply an articulate man, like somebody who was taught at Oxford or Princeton. It's simply how he was raised, it's not his "fault".

I would feel attacked is somebody told me that for trying to use an appropriate vocabulary to describe or explain something, like being posh was something to be ridiculed.

If a coworker told me that I'd use a more detailed description so he understands what I mean but otherwise keep using my regular vocabulary. If a manager told me that I'd start looking for a new job, as it'd signal he feels entitled to micromanage me and a job doesn't have to be stressful.

Am I too thin skinned?

cotton and polyester puma sock I washed with some pooped underwear, so I don't know if this sock looks brownish due to fecal matter.

I used a cold cycle and abundant detergent. Every other undie looks fine.

I don't know if I should leave the piece to rinse in a cold water bucket with some detergent and wash again.

very similar question to my last one but this time with management, not a coworker.

Similar because she keeps pestering me with what to her seems to be an important issue. She doesn't seem to understand that I'm there to work and not to socialize. On our last conversation she told me we're a big family and that I'm welcomed to be sincere with her with a big smile, to me a fake one.

So many red flags I wanted to run, but I still have to articulate it in office speak so she stops pestering me.

Context is an exit interview management is going to use to try and convince me to stay, but I don't want to work there anymore, too much drama and cattiness over dumb crap.

I go to work to work because I need a paycheck, not to make friends.

Where I am there is a new coworker that to me acts needy (think of Slow Horses's Struan Loy), tries befriending me, but he invariably asks if everything's ok. I don't care about this person's life.

The first 2 times I didn't think anything of it, but he asks that every day and it's becoming tiring.

I feel mobbed and stalked, mobbed because he keeps insinuating there is something wrong with me just because I don't ask him about his private life and do my job, and stalked, because he is so fixated on me.

going to HR over this seems ridiculous, but I'm starting to hate his voice.

chorus keeps repeating "dubia, ooh dubia" (something I didn't get here) "dubia ooh dubia, that's what I'm talking abouuuut'

if not dubia, maybe nubia or nuria or buria, seems to be an American singer.

it's not the bee gees and I believe is from the 80's. Melody is: d c c, e d c d c c, f f e f e f e d d, d c c, e d c d c c, f f e f e f g, a a g a g f g, f f e d e f g...

singer sounds a bit like Eddie Holman (hey there lonely girl)

ETA: solved, Robin Gibb‘s song Juliet

I'm finding the hard way that finding another job is a grind: you invest time reading what they want to hire, you write a CV and an application.

Most of the time you don't get an answer, meaning you are that irrelevant to them. Most of these times it is YOU the one who has to ask if they decided for or against. On the limited times they write you back, it's a computed generated BS polite rejection letter.

I asked one of them how many candidates they considered and why they rejected me, but that only made them send me another computer generated letter.

I'd like to know how close I was and in what ways I can become a more interesting candidate, but nobody is going to give me a realistic answer.

It sucks having to need them more than they need you. And I should consider me lucky, because I have a job, but jesus christ, I feel for those who have to do this without stable income or a family that offers them a place to stay...