Why are the quotation marks that way..?

15 minute call? That's one long conversation beforehand.

They haven't met her, so the statement still stands.

It is sexual, because the big noses are supposed to be attractive to the female monkeys. It shows the male is healthy and thus worth it to reproduce with.

So Rosa from the Monterey Bay Aquarium didn't pass away, you stole her??

Be the change you wish to see in the world!

Also a skill issue, but the issue is that he is too damn skilled

Usually the right side has clean hands with the caption "so that yours can look like this", but OP is asexual so doesn't care about that I guess? So there's no other person involved

Yeah lmao, all articles on nottheonion are actual, real events,that have actually happened. Welcome to the real world

Seeing how orbit is just falling and missing, kinda?

Can't confirm, I'm very weak :(