I've been actively trying. There are a lot of other jobs around that pay the same or more. I just really needed to vent all of that. 
Not really. We have an open position at a different location and it showed up on their dashboard as a good candidate. They passed it over to my boss, who then confronted me.
cw depressive work venting
Work has me extremely bummed out recently. I got hurt a few weeks ago on the job. Ultimately it was nothing, just a few big bruises on my legs and chest. But it could have been so much worse. I was plodding a long behind a building and fell into a sump pit full of runoff and sewage. I didn't even know it was there. It should have had a grate over it, but it didn't, and I couldn't see it because the water was just over the brim. Minding my own business and suddenly I'm over my head in sewage, gear oil, and parking lot runoff.
I was forced to stay late and go there. It was a Friday. I wanted to go home. But no instead I fell in a pit, ruined my uniform and soaked my boots. I have a change of clothes but not a change of boots so I had to finish the job in soggy boots. All in all, the whole experience made me severely rethink what I'm doing and my job.
I was already planning on looking for a new job soon, and this whole experience turbocharged my resolve. So I updated all my contact info and resume and started applying. A week later I got confronted because I left my resume as searchable on indeed and my boss was pissed. I had to walk everything back and pinky promise I was happy with my job.
Ever since I've been in a weird depressive funk. I'm starting to feel better and shit but idk I'm still pretty upset about it all. There are a few jobs that have called me back but I'm still waiting on an interview with any of them. I'm so tired of coming home tired. I'm so tired of hiding who I am. Its hard to want to show up to a place that laughs at you when you could have drowned. It's so hard to want to show up at a place that would fire you for coming out as gender non-conforming.
I just followed along with a YouTube tutorial after asking the few girls I've come out to for brand recommendations.
Yeah now that I have an idea what I need, I can start watching for sales. I'm looking forward to the holidays because I am sure there will be plenty of sales. I'm especially looking for a bigger eyeshadow palette. That's the one thing I didn't get yesterday while I was out. I got a smaller ELF one with 10 colors, but I want more hahaha.
Naaahhhh it's taken me months to get the courage, and I left the isle at the first place I went a bunch of times because someone came down it. But I survived and it was totally worth it. 
I know the feeling. It's taken me months to work up the courage. You'll get there tho.
Well chat, I did it. I went into public and bought makeup. Holy shit is it expensive. However! I survived and it turned out great! I've taken about 30 selfies since I finished it so I must have done something right!
I think I'm actually finally going to go makeup shopping today. I have a few hours to kill this afternoon between Dr appointments and I can't think of a single thing that would be a better use of my time.
I spilled coffee on my retroid and now the left joystick squeaks when I use it. Truly this is the peak of human suffering.