also - mygosh umm... ive been doing some stuff in blender and... see - its about time i actually make a thing which kinda.. goes beyond what i usually do, u kno? not anything comercially, but something which is out there - which exists and such...
something i can point to and say

yea, i made that - but who cares

u kno?-- just some stuff i ... make and then it.. exists. and its not just some temporary funi which gets looked at by some hundreds of peeps - but instead more like.. a genuine experience which maybe about 5 people will have (including myself...) and then these people say "yea - that was something" and then move on with the knowledge that this experience exists at all.

and - BAM! i have left something - in the world - like - a REAL LIFE thing which peeps can look at, interact with, plan within, explore and find some kind of story and meaning for themselves in it... yea - thats what i wana make.

• i am not studying bioinformatics
• i am STILL too scared to get my blood drawn for those hormones - so im still... without... ;( and feel worse everyday.,.,
• thats kinda it honestly, yea very smol things if im honest - but it feels like a lot when i also wana make cool experiences and be somewhat interesting...

for some reason, i had this idea in my head that artists are pretentious evils who go "oh well - you have a job which RUINS the environment, makes capitalists RICHER and you get mediocre moni- meanwhile i - they Artist (yesyes, capital A that is-) am earning money from the fact that my art is SOOOO GOOOD that people pay me REAL money for it - and im not ruining anything for anyone! im doing a purely positive thing for humanity -" and then they look down upon kinda everyone else while saying that.

this is obviously not true. like - totally false. but somehow i have a hard time getting rid of this mindset. its some brainworm presumably. its probably just envy - cuz they get to make a living off of something fun, creative and design-oriented, meanwhile everyone else works their ass off on some hard physical or mental labour which - in most cases - is not interpreted as being fun...

iguess its kinda like the imposter syndrom, but im not an imposter, i just imagine that if i were - id feel shiddy, cuz id feel like an evil pretentious peep... but now im really just askin for affirmations and whatever -. which is kindsa not what im here for... i got a lot of stuff to tell to my thearpist tomorrow >v<

u might wondr buut mariaaaaa - why??? whads self-deprecating bout postin out the obvious downsides of current ml systems?

well let me tell u a story ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 🌳🌸💖🍩🍙🥧

(which i wrote btw, no language model was used)

once upon a time, there was a maria 🌸 in a magical world of gud 🟢 and evil 🟣.

maria 🌸 hated how the evil magic 🟣 was destroying the environment: evil powerful magic-wielders 😈 would create huge evil-magic-producers 🟪 with the hope of replacing the human!

she also hated how suddenly, these dark-magic creatures 💜 wud write boring useless text and create uncanny scary imagery. typical of the evil-magics 😈, she 🌸 thought.

the black-magic-advancements 🟣 at the time scared her so much, she believed all of human work could be replaced with this new dark magic 🟣! she imagined a future where no peep worked, with many takin their lifes becuz they felt it was meaningless without goals to achieve.

---

despite all dis, maria 🌸 imagined they cud be used for gud, so she 🌸 lead one of the little creatures 💜 home. not to profit from, but to see what it 💜 cud do ~

at home, she 🌸 put the dark creature 💜 into a bunni-cage 🐇, wrote a page of instructions and pushed it thru the cage to the creature 💜

it 💜 licked the page, and started pretending to do the task, by writing down the actions it 💜 would take... but not actually doing them...

turns out, she 🌸 had to let the written text be turned into actual actions using another well-known ancient spell: text-parsing 🟢 :o

after bits of tinkerin, maria 🌸 ... didn hav anythin useful, but she had fun trynna make the lil one 💜 do increasingly complex tasks. at som point, she felt accelerated by her own doings, n put it 💜 into a larger, bear-sized cage, n gave it 💜 much longer, mor complex instructions

she 🌸 wud change its 💜 personality, look at its 💜 own writing, refine it, revise it, test its 💜 ideas, see its 💜 own failure n keep on tryin.

...

unknowingly, she 🌸 had becom a black magic wielder 🟣. she 🌸 had becom, whad she 🌸 hated so much 🟣 -

though maria 🌸 didn giv brith to the monster 💜 (which wud increase environmental problms), she only fed it 💜 vrri little magical energy (much less than others wud use to play magic games) - n didn share the creatures 💜 scribbles with others, cuz she didn wana be like those other peeps 🟣 who pretend the output is worth sharin.

she 🌸 imagined her frens frowning upon her, once findin out bout her 🌸 "hobby" 🟣.

...

one question bugged her tho:

aftr all dis time, am i still maria 🌸? or hav i becom... maria 😈?

she couldnt answer dis question.

---

the end

oh yea - u prolli need som context:

i am developin an lm-based helper thingy for godot game engine for about a year by now. dis is why the post is kindsa self-deprecating, its cuz im litrlli buildin a thing which "does tasks". vrri funi.

anway, plz dun call be an ai-sis, i did make dis funi pictur aftr all, so i must be sane, right?

(plz be cool bout dis >o< )

• its easy for peeps to kno somthin is tru.
• n then its also easy for other peeps to react like this (post image) cuz they kno bettr

somtimes it feels like other peeps jus... say stff cuz they heard it somwhere or a gut feeling. but sometimes, even if hard to accept, one must realize it is oneself.

these convos kinda make sense when somthin is litrlly unprovable at thad point in time. in those cases - there's no truth to be had, gotta wait for them probabilities to collapse into reality

som examplz (ohgod pls dun get mad bout dis)

• am i truly sick, or just faking it so i cn stay home? only i cn know, but my boss has genuinely no idea-
• will ai pop like a bubble, overthrow humanity, or lead to fully automated luxary gay space communism <3 <3 ? we hav no idea! not even experts like Geoffrey Hinton. only time will tell-
• is consciousness real, r we tricking ourselves to believe its real, or r the peeps denying it not human? nobody knows! its kinda un-answerable since we dun evn hav a concrete description of consciousness... i think - am happi to be proven wrong! welcome to religion or whatevr-
• am i out of touch? or is it the children who are wrong? only Seymour Skinner knows the answer!
• am i happy? or jus distractin myself from my feelings? no one cud kno besides me! and i duno - so nobody knows!

i think jus - in general - the "am happy to be proven wrong" mindset is a gud one -

as in - believin somthn, but bein willin to see other peepses perspective n beliefs n askin clarifyin questions ~ ~ ~ <3 <3 <3

Sehr geehrte Abgeordnete,

mein Name ist Maria njkflndkejaöfjmakl. Ich bin XX Jahre alt, wohne in blablfabsklf in fksjaöflknm,fncad., und starte bald mein XGFDJLÖ-Studium in fjdwskefnjadköfsd. Ich schreibe Ihnen, weil ich mir große Sorgen um unsere Privatsphäre mache - angesichts der erneut diskutierten Chat-Control-Gesetzgebung. Ähnliche Pläne wurden bereits mehrfach von der EU abgelehnt, doch nun ist das Thema wieder auf dem Tisch.

Besonders beunruhigt mich, dass Ende-zu-Ende-Verschlüsselung untergraben werden könnte und dass die Inhaltsanalyse - die ja CSAM finden soll - in der Praxis nicht zuverlässig funktioniert. Für mich fühlt sich das Ganze wie ein Schritt in die komplett falsche Richtung an.

In Deutschland haben wir das Recht auf freie Meinungsäußerung und Versammlungsfreiheit. Wir dürfen uns treffen und über alles sprechen, was wir möchten - ohne Angst haben zu müssen, dass unsere Gespräche falsch interpretiert oder überwacht werden.

Wenn dieses Chat-Control-Gesetz durchkommt, wäre das, als würde bei jedem Treffen mit Freunden ein Polizist mit am Tisch sitzen, der jedes verdächtige Wort überwacht und bei Verdacht Alarm schlägt.

Und noch viel schlimmer: Wird ein solches System einmal eingeführt, öffnet es Tür und Tor für weitere Überwachungstechnologien.

Es ist leicht, einer Anti-CSAM-Gesetzgebung zuzustimmen: schließlich ist die Verbreitung solcher Inhalte ein schweres Verbrechen, welches wir alle ablehnen. Doch danach ist es sehr leicht, weitere, inakzeptable Inhalte zur automatischen Überwachung hinzuzufügen.

Zum Beispiel könnte in Zukunft auch nach bestimmten politischen Meinungen gescannt werden.
Das mag jetzt unrealistisch klingen - aber sobald das technische System existiert, wäre es erschreckend einfach umzusetzen.

Außerdem glaube ich, dass diese Maßnahme das eigentliche Ziel gar nicht erreicht.

Zwar könnten große Plattformen wie WhatsApp, Signal oder Telegram betroffen sein - aber Menschen, die CSAM verbreiten, würden natürlich sofort auf unregulierte, sichere Alternativen wechseln.

Zum Beispiel auf Matrix, das dezentral, offen und verschlüsselt ist - und genau dafür geschaffen wurde, freie Kommunikation zu schützen.
Ich würde genau gleich handeln, wenn meine digitale Aktivität auf einmal konstant kontrolliert wird.
Ich habe Angst vor flächendeckender, automatisierter Überwachung, wie sie aktuell in undemokratischen Systemen angewandt wird.


Der aktuelle Gesetzesvorschlag verfehlt also komplett das Ziel des Kinderschutzes - und greift stattdessen tief in unsere Freiheitsrechte ein.

Ich bitte Sie daher dringenst: Stimmen Sie gegen jeden Vorschlag, der eine solche Massenüberwachung privater Kommunikation ermöglicht.


Mit freundlichen Grüßen

Maria fdskngfjkalm jcöilfasx