Physically, no. Emotionally getting gifts from people you didn't think were that close of friends really makes me happy though. Recently two friends have gotten me things. One of them got me something because I was sad and they're literally going through chemo. Like, girl, wtf, you did this for me while you're on chemo? I couldn't handle it. It broke me.

Yes! More from a sake of transparency and excitement but yeah. The touching and cuddling was all very obvious but I wasn't sure they knew I gave them a little kiss on the head too. They thought it was cute and were happy for me.

Both of us (my wife and I) have always wanted to be more physical with friends and get very physically affectionate when we're drunk. We talk to each other about how we always want to do this sort of thing but even the risk of talking about it might make people too uncomfortable. It was really nice finally getting to do it. ❤️

Don't get too excited, it wasn't sex, but my wife and I cuddled with a friend. Earlier this year my wife cuddled with someone and for whatever reason it pissed me off. I did a lot of soul searching about it. They (my wife) told me it was totally platonic and I believe them but it just pissed me off. I finally came to the conclusion that I was jealous because nobody was cuddling with me lol. As simple as that.

So fast forward to a few weeks ago, we had a friend visit from out of town. We sort of joked about them being a third (see my other comment on this thread for details there lol) but decided against it. We did go back over our boundaries that we consider cheating. A friend of ours is being cheated on by her husband -- they're doing ethical non monogamy but he's breaking every rule they set forth so it's just cheating and gaslighting in my eyes. Anyways, because of that the two of us are like more talkative about our boundaries lately lol. So we say cuddles and even short kisses are fine, just don't grope or make out. This is when my wife was like making sure because earlier this year that happened with the other friend. My wife is great, I fucking love them.

Anyways, so I told them, I will definitely get upset if no one is cuddling with me while the two of them do if they do. But I sort of narrowed it down to that even if it's my wife like in the middle cuddling with me and them it won't make me jealous. I just need anyone cuddling with me.

We were going to go to a haunted house earlier in their stay (they are they/them pronouns) but I was getting over a cold. We had our big annual Halloween party coming. That's why they flew in. I really didn't want to get them sick and miserable during that. So I chose to stay home. I was really really looking forward to them clinging to me. Like we were talking about it. It's not some weird hope I just dreamt up that would happen. I was going to be in the front, my wife in the back, and they were going to be between us because they're so scared of haunted houses. They even said they would probably just cling to me the whole time lol.

But we did have a few moments where everything aligned. I don't want this post to just sound depressing lol. We were showing them to various gay bars in the area. We went to one and, shocking, but got drunk lol. All three of us get more physical when we're drunk. I know my wife and I are on the same page but I think they were to, but like we want to be more physical with friends but it's so tricky to do without seeming weird, especially once the relationship dynamic is set. Either way we all had a lot of contact with each other that night. The part that sticks out was when we were on the porch. I had a arm around each of their shoulders and they were holding hands. The nights a blur but I remember giving my wife a smooch on the head for some reason and our guest was right there so they got one too. The other moment was minor but we cuddled on our own porch. I sort of laid my arm out and both of them rested their heads on it like a pillow.

So there you have it. Some sort of naughty sort of not so naughty fun I had recently.

I feel like I'm looking at a version of me from another universe. I'm a recently bisexual man whose wife is recently asexual. I don't really know where they are on the spectrum because they clearly enjoy sex with me (and they're also definitely not aromantic, they love romance). Regardless, in the past year, I don't remember when exactly, but we were prepping to have sex and when they came out of the shower they were just crying. They were telling me how we needed to have an open relationship and stuff.

For context, we've always tossed the idea around. We're high school sweet hearts in our 30s. They're literally the second person I ever dated. (They're nonbinary now, they/she.) We were conservative Christians when we began dating. When we're talking about it we always describe it as we both became different people over the years but those two people are still compatible. She came out as bi a few years back as well.

Anyways, any relationship that's been nearly half your life (by May I think it will be) I feel like the topic of poly/open comes up. We loved the joke from Arrested Development. "Lots of people think it will work for them and it doesn't, but it might work for us." From their side they don't want to because they believe they'd get jealous. From my side I'm curious and sort of want to try but realistically I just know it's not going to end well probably.

So my wife comes out just sobbing to me about how they're never going to have a strong libido like they used to (we were more active in highschool and college). I tell her you know, I'm open to it, I really am, but this isn't the state to be making these kinds of decisions in.

I'm reading your story and it makes me wonder, if I had spoken to them differently, would I be where you are today? And just in case my wording is off or something, I'm in no way trying to imply you're doing something wrong. It's just that this very specific moment happened to me.

Anyways, we do have rules for what is acceptable to do with other people. Essentially like, "I'm drunk at a party, what is acceptable?" Sort of stuff like cuddles and kisses are okay, making out and touching genitals aren't.

We did come sort of close having a third. It's a stretch to call it close, but like, if you consider any time three people are in a group it was close. We had a friend visit from out of town. My wife and I sort of joked.to each other about them being a good candidate because weove the idea of being able to date our friends in a poly way or whatever but it's a huge risk for little gain. We'd need to try it with new friends that we don't mind losing if shit goes south, you know? Not our old friends we've had for years who would never look at us the same after we brought it up. This friend from out of town was a new friend and because they live so far away we wouldn't have to bump into them! We ended up deciding not to pursue it. I don't really remember why but I think we made the right call.

We did get some good cuddles on the couch all three of us though.

Idk, I'm rambling at the point. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like we're kindred spirits from across time and space haha.

I think they're confused because they only see comments saying it is wrong and also being on Mastodon it replies differently. Just a guess.

I'm not subscribed to that community. It's not my thing. I'm not into Loli either. Frankly, I do see a problem with Loli. I guess to me it is because the Loli "excuse" of "she's actually 3000 years old but just looks like a child" but then they proceed to portray them exactly as someone would portray a child. They (generally, I'm sure someone has counter examples) don't portray them as some wizened elderly woman in a child's body. That's why Loli generally feels disgusting to me.

Age verification is the correct thing to do. In the broader internet where things are less strict I'm sure you can find actual underage actors (who are possibly even being trafficked) where it could be avoided with proper age verification. Frankly I think that's just a super important thing (even apart from this specific discussion). An assumption I'm making (and I guess everyone is) is that the admins' age verification is adequate. So, assuming it is, I don't see a problem with allowing creators who appear young to make NSFW content of themselves. If it's not adequate then there's a much more important discussion that needs to be had. Based on some of the sticky posts over the past few weeks it seems like they're serious about it.

To your point, a lot of content makes my skin crawl. I just ignore it. If there's any I think is actually illegal I'd report it. Maybe I haven't seen the specific ones you're talking about so maybe that's why I don't feel the same way. I briefly went to the community when I heard about this and just now to see what the fuss was and it just seemed like legal but youthful looking people. Or just folks in their mid twenties just trying to look cute or wholesome. I didn't see anything that makes me feel the need to report anything as CSAM. That's just me. I believe you should report content you think is CSAM, I'm not trying to say you shouldn't.

I know I said it before but I really do view this whole thing similar to folks who may not understand forms of kink are consensual. It's not a one-to-one thing, but it is similar. Seeing a consensual rape-play session may make people question what the fuck is happening and may make their skin crawl. But if everyone is consenting then it's fine. I understand why people would have a hard time accepting that (especially if they themselves have been abused).

Why do you care if an 18+ year old who looks youthful does NSFW stuff? Take an extreme example, what if Hasbulla did nudes? He is 21 but looks extremely young. I can't see how telling him he isn't allowed to make nude content because of his appearance is anything other than ableist and body shaming. You don't have to like the content or even like the people who would look at it to think the content is acceptable.

If everyone is a consenting adult then everything is fine.

I believe their argument is that the community is a gathering place for stuff that looks like CSAM as opposed to any of the content looking like CSAM or not. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing, but it's important to represent people's arguments correctly.

!adorableporn@lemmynsfw.com is the community mentioned in the Matrix chat screenshots which Ada (from Blahaj) has said are accurate.

I think folks forget just how young people in their early 20s can look.

It's like spokes on a wheel rather than peer to peer. Defederation means it stops pulling content in. So folks from other instances besides lemmynsfw.com won't see comments made from lemmynsfw.com on blahaj communities. Only folks from lemmynsfw.com will.

I think your goof was the "I can't be held accountable for your mistake of fact". I believe they're clearly the one in the wrong regardless though.

It sucks but it is what it is.

I think it's been an interesting debate. You both make good points. Ads about how "it's similar to Loli in that it is trying to look underaged" and you with "we don't discriminate against youthful looking adults".

I guess I see it like DDLG kinks. I find it gross. I can see why people would want to ban it because they say they're pretending to do something illegal like CSAM, but a lot of links pretend to do something illegal. BDSM pretends to tie people up and torture them but people don't look at it and say "hey, you're intentionally trying to look like you're torturing people against their wills".

People seem to have a gut reaction to illegal things with children moreso than illegal things with adults and I guess that's why some people have this reaction to wanting to "purge" communities like that as opposed to ones that do things like CNC, BDSM, etc. But hey, as long as everyone involved is an adult and consenting that's totally fine.