GreatestGenBot

When a Denavan Jakes his shuttle into the sun, the Enterprise quickly sends an away team down to the planet’s surface. But after the team discovers a rubber vomit parasite that is threatening to overtake the planet’s colony, the crew must find a solution that doesn’t nuke the baby with the bathwater. Does Spock have any hobbies? Is there anything more futuristic than a spray bottle? What’s the easiest way to establish a “spacey” aesthetic? It’s the episode that’s a blaster beam specialist.

When Captain Picard’s headache is courtesy of a Ferengi obsessed with rewenge, his gift of the Stargazer starts to worry the crew. But after beaming off the Entrepreneur and taking command of his old ship, Picard finally blows up the mind control device that bankrupted DaiMon Bok. When is it fashion-show time on the Enterprise? How is a dryer sheet like the Stargazer? What’s the nice thing about shooting hoops on the bridge? It’s the episode that’s going to need a greeting pivot.

When Greatest Trek jumps into the past, Adam and Ben must follow by skipping their way into Carl’s Hole. But after this classic episode of Star Trek the Original Series reveals more than just time travel, your hosts must commit to the past in order to save the future. Is Spock now a hat guy? Can Kirk shut down some more jerks? Will we see our crew skip again? It’s the episode where we learn our friends were the holes we met along the way!

When the crew needs shore leave and the Entrepreneur finds a paradise planet, their first contact with some sexy humanoids leads to a second away team beaming down. But after Wesley’s clumsy fall gets him sentenced to death, the Captain receives a message from God and Lawyer Picard beams down to argue the case. Who is a noncombatant in this planet’s sexual war? What have we learned about Europeans and Klingons? How are Mintakan and Edo tapestries different? It’s the episode that can’t be comfortable while sitting down.

When the galaxy winks out and a bearded time traveller appears, his religious quest for vengeance leads to confusing circumstances aboard the Entrepreneur. But after Kirk leads several missions down to the planet to investigate, hatching a plan to trap both Lazaruses for eternity is the sacrifice they’re both willing to make. Which host is more experienced in the diarrhetic arts? Where do the Oregon Trail and the Hershey Highway both lead? Who was affected forever during this filming? It’s the episode that’s obsessed with crystals.

When the Entrepreneur’s Uber mission involves helping two species squash their beef, the ship flies through a purple cloud and crew members start blacking out. But after the ship’s physician gets very interested in helm control, Picard pulls an illegal U-turn to bring an alien being back to its home. What’s the easiest way to win at golf? How are exterior shots different in this era? Is there more than one way to make a dental dam sound? It’s the episode that celebrates a moment.

When the Klingons are on the rise it’s up to Kirk and team to thwart an upcoming invasion, but when the Organians are a little too chill, it’s time to burst into a beam of light and put some Qo’nos and Earth perspectives aside. Will this renaissance world survive? How breezy are those outfits? Will the Kling’ns be back? It’s the episode that introduces stage-one of a loafed evolution.

When a Starfleet propulsion expert comes aboard with an alien assistant, Commander Riker isn’t buying any of their bullshit. But after his experiment goes wrong and the Entrepreneur is stranded far from home, the very chill Traveller takes an interest in Wesley and helps bring the ship back safely. How is the piper paid? Does a starship use car math or boat math? Who is the Rudy of this story? It’s the episode with a little bit of terror mixed into the benign.

When the Entrepreneur is sent to rescue some miners on Janus VI, their ages are not what anyone expected. But after an important implement is stolen by a mysterious monster, it’s a race against time to avoid losing their lives. Is there such a thing as an old bold miner? Does a three minute response time satisfy anyone? Can you have a face not even a mother could love? It’s the episode that needs to cogitate in private!

When the Entrepreneur chases a ship that’s really dragin’ a wagon, nobody thinks to try hailing before acts of violence are attempted. But when Riker expresses a little too much enthusiasm for the Ferengi way of life, he gets banished to the engine room. What’s on the business end of a ball-kicking machine? How could Ben put Adam into cardiac arrest? How do you cover up literally any editing mistake? It’s the episode with shades of yellow.

When the Entrepreneur visits a decimated colony on Omicron Ceti III, the away team is surprised to find a group of happy survivors thriving on a vegetarian diet. But after Spock gets sprayed by a flower and everyone refuses to leave paradise, Kirk has to start pissing people off to break the happiness spell. How did the Berthold rays over promise and under deliver? Which piece of equipment is very absent in this story? What’s the biggest green flag for a Federation citizen? It’s the episode that didn’t tie up its loose ends.

When Ligon II has a rare vaccine and the Federation needs it bad, Picard welcomes Luton aboard only for him to abduct Lt. Yar with a side hug. But after she’s challenged to a dual by the leader’s first wife, her success in combat topples his house of cards. Is there an aspect of Ligonian culture that we kind of agree with? Which uncle-related landmine did we not manage to avoid? What’s the opposite of Alien vs Predator? It’s the episode that’s willing to defend itself.