GreatestGenBot

When a horny teenage boy comes aboard and starts making dramatic entrances, everyone wants Kirk to play Captain Daddy to help the young slickback with his social skills. But after Charlie gets obsessed with Yeoman Rand and takes control of the ship with his mind, Green Grandpa has to come and take him away to save the Entrepreneur from his powers. Whose Wikipedia page is getting edited this week? Where is HR located on the ship? What could fix Charlie’s whole deal? It’s the episode that only had one size of stretchy pants.

When the Entrepreneur meets a way more fucked-up version of itself, a bunch of the crew’s offspring come aboard to explain why they can’t go through the corridor to meet Degra. But after Lorian gets desperate and Karyn has to talk him down, the T’Pols convince Captain Archer that an alternate route can get them there early. What’s the payoff for a long-term barber relationship? Who does Sarek owe a debt of gratitude to? Which character has the trembles downstairs? It’s the episode that gets confused by too many spheres.

When a routine medical visit to an Orange Julius planet introduces Star Trek’s first cranky scientist and hot babe duo, a member of the away team dies mysteriously and still the couple’s main priority is getting more salt. But after Nancy is revealed to be a shapeshifter and more crew deaths bring salt bae up to the ship, Dr. McCoy is faced with shooting his long-lost love to save Captain Kirk’s life. How is Greatest Gen like ancient Egypt? Who is a sexual velociraptor in the workplace? What do we have to look forward to with Yeoman Rand’s hair? It’s the episode that’s holding space for studio shenanigans.

When Archer is pushing hard to meet Degra on time, Trip struggles with his grief as repairs continue on the Entrepreneur. But after Jannar asks for more proof and Degra blows up a reptilian ship, Archer gets invited to speak to the council if he can make it through the nebula in one piece. In what specific way is Crewman Taylor in a better place? Which hobby does Trip use the bronze scuba suit for? What’s the amazing thing about This Ain’t Cheers? It’s the episode that could have epically killed off a main character.

When in recovery mode after a battle on Rigel VII, Captain Pike and the crew of the Enterprise try to avoid the 18 year-old distress call from the Talos Region. But when Spock interrupts a martini meeting between Pike and Boyce, it’s time to gather a team and Time-Warp again! Will Pike survive the thoughts of Talosians? Will Vina be there if Pike returns? Despite all his rage, is Pike just a rat in a cage? It’s the episode that gives you a beginning, but not before showing you the end!

When a crescendo of bangers suddenly gets called off, the Xindi council is in disarray and decides to return Archer to the NX-01. But after another damaged ship asks for assistance, an even Darker Archer decides to rob them instead. Where is the fun part of a Rick Caruso development? What could have been a top-three visual in the entire series? Who’s the Guinan of this show? It’s the episode where Xindi Oprah is giving out some very special prizes!

When Dr. Korby leads the Entrepreneur to an octahedron on Skygowan, Dr. M’Benga is captured by reanimated Ensign Gamble and Captain Batel feels called to intervene. But after the two captains live an entire life in flash forwards, everyone embraces their destiny and the crew continues on its five-year mission. Which book is Vice Admiral Pasalt looking forward to re-reading? How do you force someone to replace a bed? What’s the best shortcut for an emotionally-heavy moment? It’s the episode that’s not going to recover from the eye trauma.

When the Entrepreneur arrives at Azati Prime, Captain Archer goes deep on a suicide mission to destroy the Xindi weapon. But after a visit from Daniels and an unsuccessful attempt to die, Archer drives a wedge between the council as the reptilians bring the NX-01 to its knees. What’s the least dangerous thing a Star Trek podcaster could do? How could Insectoids sweep through Earth’s population the quickest? Who is the angel of death on a starship? It’s the episode that didn’t send back the bottle of brown wine.

When Lieutenant Ortegas crashes on the wrong side of a wormhole, she finds an injured lady Gorns to play chess with and who’s also willing to be big spoon. But after Uhura lies to Pike about a dangerous rescue attempt, La’An ends up shooting Gornette on sight and Ortegas only keeps some of her memories. Where has NuTrek overcorrected? How can a hobo encampment feel instantly more comforting? What don’t you get on any other Star Trek podcast? It’s the episode that solves its issues with either Metrons or ADR.

When the Entrepreneur pulls up on LV-426, the crashed ship on the surface does indeed have alien eggs aboard. But after one of them blasts in Archer’s face without asking, he becomes more and more willing to sacrifice the mission for his personal obsession with saving the children. How many Xenomorphs would it take to conquer Earth? What’s never an accident? Do baby Insectoids have a favorite food? It’s the episode that explores Trip’s gravy-based fantasies.

When the Entrepreneur is the only ship in range to fix a pre-warp Chernobyl, the away team has to become peak Vulcan and unfortunately they decide not to change back. But after destroying both personal and professional lives, Una gets Doug involved and Spock has to dance La’An’s katra back to reality. What would look great on The Sphere in Vegas? Where does Pike go when he gets kicked out of his quarters? Who has a very short refractory period? It’s the episode that’s brokering peace.

When there’s more unstable space queso on their path to Azati Prime, the crew has to go into stasis while Dr. Phlox looks after the ship. But after he starts hearing things and hallucinating Swedish ghosts, he almost kills Commander Tucker before finishing the mission all on his own. What’s different about dog walking in the future? Whose face is left-most on Mount Footmore? How is Trip like a long-haul truck driver? It’s the episode that compares afternoon coffee to no afternoon coffee.