[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 6 days ago

Oh, absolutely a demand.

The problem is that it's a very complicated thing, and that means you can't just gonna someone willing, they have to have the experience and skill as well, or it's going to end up bad.

It really isn't something most doms are into as their own kink. Picking up the "tricks if the trade" means having to spend your own time learning something instead of having fun for your own ends, if it isn't also your kink. That's as rare as finding a dom that has the kink tbh.

Back when I participated in the local scene, the feminization side of things was fairly rare, and not part of what most bdsm groups did when they met.

That being said, it can be fun to take part in, even if it isn't your kink. I have done scenes with sissies before, and while it isn't something I would want to do regularly, particularly if it involves sexual intercourse (be it oral or anal), even that is fine for the occasional bit of experimentation to get out of the comfort zone.

That's where most doms I've known stand on it. It's not their main focus because it really is a focus for a sissy. If you aren't doing that part of dominance, they tend to not be fulfilled by a session. It's kind of like pony play in that regard, you have to specialize in it to really get anything out of it long term.

But be patient. Be willing to communicate well with any potential dom so that there's no crossed wires. Doms that aren't used to the feminization genre of play can make mistakes that are easy to avoid if they're talked out in detail ahead of time. The few times I did it, I was lucky enough that the sissies I was playing with were very experienced and let me know what they needed rather than expecting me to magically know the ins and outs of it all. I know that breaks some of the immersion, but until you find a long term partner, that's the only way to go.

It comes down to the demand being much higher than the supply.

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 week ago

Well, you don't have to be having sex with a guy to see his cock. Don't even need that to see his hard cock.

You just have to enjoy or be willing to be present when men are going to be present, naked, and possibly aroused.

Which is a long way of saying that I rarely have had sex with men, I don't enjoy it. But I've seen a lot of cocks, aroused or otherwise.

I was a nurse for a long time, and I enjoy group sex and orgies, as well as group bdsm.

Yes, some of them can be quite surprising. All kinds of sizes, angles, and colors. They can bend into very unusual arcs as well.

There was a gentleman at a party that was fairly long, fairly narrow, but it bent three times, almost into an § shape, like a double S. He called it his literal trouser snake.

There's all kinds of colors that can surprise you until you learn that they can happen. Very bright blues and purples for sure, but also greens and oranges. It isn't going to be an all-over coloration most of the time; the majority is going to be shades of brown to pale colors. But I have seen a few cocks that were a dusky purplish blue on the shaft, building to blues and purples on the head. It's all about the combination of melanin and blood under the surface to make the light refract and reflect in interesting ways.

They can be very lumpy sometimes as well. Football (american type) shaped is not super rare, and having bulges is common enough that it ceases to be startling after a while.

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 month ago

It is to keep repeating the same thing over and over despite it being patently absurd

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 month ago

You're talking to the wrong person with that. The comment you responded to was from a different user. Check the user names.

And I'm fairly certain at this point that the other user is right, you're either trolling or mentally disturbed

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 1 month ago

Yeah, you're putting words in his mouth. You misread, or misunderstood, but you're way off the mark

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 3 months ago

Such a delicate set of inner labia.

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 5 months ago

Ugly? I dunno, seems inaccurate

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 8 months ago

I'm always okay with dick pics in theory, at least in places for general nsfw use like this.

That being said, it's really difficult to get interesting pics of your own dick. There's too many limitations of angle, even using a mirror. It's definitely possible with some planning and creativity, but penises are harder to self photograph than vulvae. At least and be flattering. If you don't mind meh results, you can get easy pics.

Yours is a decent shot tbh. Lighting is decent, the angle is good, and it isn't just a dick with no background. But you'd still probably benefit from a camera bro getting the shots for you. I'm not even joking, if you're lucky enough to have a friend that's chill about nudity, you can get way better pics that will actually turn people on, or (in the case of folks that aren't into dick sexually) be artistically interesting.

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 8 months ago

When it's consensual, it ceases to be pain, at least in the way that true sadism is about the infliction of pain and delighting in the pain itself.

The kind of safe, sane, and consensual play that I've engaged in, the goal is so different from true sadism that it might as well be called something else despite the term applying.

And I've gone pretty extreme here and there over the years. Never to the point of long term harm, that's a hard no for me. But to the point of bleeding or needing recovery time beyond the day of the session, yes.

What's weird about that is that my preferences for "sadism" are much gentler. I prefer using pain as just another sensation that blends into pleasure in the submissive. But there are people for whom the pain needs to be pain for them to achieve the mental state they prefer. It needs to not become pleasure, or they can't release and go into that state at all. And I don't mind providing that occasionally.

Mind you, I couldn't be a long term partner for someone that needed that kind of activity. It doesn't do it for me, so it would always be a one way street. But at clubs and gatherings, playing with someone that wants/needs the more extreme activity is fine, short term. Even kind of fun in its own way, but it doesn't fulfill me the way the more gentle violence does. I prefer a loving kind of pain, if that makes sense.

When I'm doing harder play, I'm usually thinking more than feeling. I'm paying attention to the amount of force used in blows, the degree of injury being applied to skin to avoid lasting harm. I don't really get to just enjoy it for myself, other than a sense of pride that I can do it right, and that the person not only trusts me to do the scene right, but in succeeding

When it's my kind of scene, the feeling of taking a person right to the edge, where I'm ramping up the sensations to match the increase in their ability to process the pain as pleasure so that it's always just barely ahead of that curve is a flow state. It's meditative, but arousing. I sink into the moment, so there's nothing but the sounds and sights of the various tools being used, there's no thoughts interfering, just the years of practice applying without the need for conscious control.

It's the sounds and the sight of skin changing, and the feel of the heat when you touch the marks left, or tug on a clamp. That's the arousing part. Some people, nudity is part of the arousal as a top, but for me that's secondary, the nudity is necessary to reach the skin to be able to work on it, and through the skin to work in the mind of the "slave". Note please, I don't use the term slave personally, if I'm going to call the sub something, I prefer other terms, but it's convenient when talking about the matter.

But that connection, where you've used their body to unlock their mind and you're in this dance of sensation leading to both of you reaching your desired state of being, that's the real "orgasm" for me. It is sexual, even if there's no sex, or no orgasms physically, but there is release. There's the feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment. That's there even when working a stranger at a gathering, where there's no "real sex" involved at all.

Don't forget though, for some masochists (again, the term isn't perfect when applied to this kind of thing), the physical sensations of pain aren't always the main thing. It can be about being controlled, being subjected to the experience and being allowed to give up their control. It can be about humiliation as well as that, and/or the pain itself.

And, I must state agains, this is about consensual play. I am not a true sadist, if the person was there against their will, it completely breaks the pleasure of it. Just the idea of that is a turn off for me. While I can do scenes where the "victim" is there involuntarily, all of the consent happens ahead of time, and that's where I'm not really into it for my own pleasure. And I dislike participating in rape play entirely, even within a structured scene where there's no force implied.

As strange as it may seem, the underlying kink for me isn't necessarily the pain involved, it's the consent. The person wanting the pain, the person wanting my efforts, that's the real turn on for me, the rest is just fun. That's why rape play doesn't work. It breaks that part of my kink, where the desire of my "slave" is there.

I have never, ever, missed a safe word, or otherwise gone past where a partner wanted to go. My ideal session is where I take them right up to the point where they think they might be ready to tap out, but aren't quite there. I don't want the fun to stop for them, or me. Safe words (or other signals, I can do gagged play) are (ideally) only used when the slave has reached fulfillment, not when the session is beyond their limits. I can't say I've never misread someone under the lash (so to speak) and had to stop, but as I got more practice in, it happened less.

The sadism part, the actual pleasure in hurting someone for real, isn't part of what I like. Again, I can provide that kind of session up to a point, but it isn't my kink. My boundaries have always been about the care needed after. No stitches, no care that goes beyond what could be provided in a home setting. If the injuries involved would go beyond that, it's a hard no for me, which isn't exactly true sadism, and I've known both masochists that want things that go beyond that point, as well as people that enjoy applying that kind of pain.

Even with all that, if I was looking for someone to play with, back when I was still active in the community, I would specify that there would be no blood at all. I never really enjoyed even minor wounds during play, I wanted things to be more controlled, and once skin starts bleeding, control of sensation is kind of gone. You can't fine tune cuts or broken skin.

[-] Edwardrotik@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 years ago

Where's the line with someone posting to multiple c/s at once and ignoring relevance being spam, even though they may hit a few c/s where is is on topic randomly? When I report for spam, that's what I'm reporting for, even if I don't report every post they made.

How should we handle that?

Edwardrotik

joined 2 years ago