There is again quite an assumption here mainly that my partner somehow asked me to not transition, that again I am somehow being coerced to stay by a domineering voice.
This was a discussion, a frank one, where I clarified with him what the potential outcomes of a medical transition were in terms of our relationship and decided on my own. It was not something he was comfortable asking me to do on his behalf and even after making my decision he took some time to feel comfortable on his end with it because his concerns and lack of self confidence of being "worth it". People have approached him in the past with the attitude that he's doing me a disservice and it ruins him for at least a week.
You are also conflating my comment about medical transitioning being a no brainer with transitioning itself. I have still transitioned socially and have been impacted in losing career advantages, family and friends for my choices. All transitions carry risks regardless of the medical component and when you frame it in this way where it focuses on medical transition as the majority of the risk or defining portion of transistion it implies that non-medical transition doesn't count as transition. Any transition should be approached as potentially having serious reprocussions. In many cases of my friends who have medically transitioned the decision to medically transition was ultimately a lot less difficult than the decision to socially transition because by the time they got there they'd already experienced bigotry and yes, their lives have gotten markedly better since... But they also do not pity me and that is the tone of what you give off here (particularly in quoting a book about a womam dealing with religious trauma and internalized homophobia) the sense that you aren't simply empathizing or sympathizing with the aspects of my choices which are difficult but that you veiw those choices as harmful or misguided.
I am glad that you found happiness and comfort in your transistion. It's obviously a great fit. Maybe rethink your approach to non-binary folx as it seems like you bring a little overmuch of your personal baggage with you.
Now extrapolating from our conversation I will make a few leaps. It seems to be that in many ways medical transition for you was revelatory. It makes sense you want to evangelize it. I imagine though it is also something that you've had to self advocate a lot for to pursue - which can be traumatic. Defending your choices to friends, family members and medical professionals to the bar demanded is stressful and there is strain that can impact you long term.
However that fight can twist you out of true. When you see someone who isn't conforming to that model that you had to advocate so hard for maybe it's a little threatening? Maybe to you it has to be unhealthy to do what I am doing because that strain of self advocacy has boxed you into a position where everything you've done doesn't seem valid if it wasn't nessisary. So when I come along with a different situation where I am existing alright without the things you've had to defend as nessisary for your continued success it comes across as a challenge to that hypothesis. Hence why you keep probing for fault with my situation
Maybe you aren't looking at my situation as simply a thing I am doing, you are looking at it as an arguement against the validity of what you are doing
Thing is - and I say this with emphasis - none of the choices I have personally made or the reasons behind them have anything to do with yours. My situation being stable and reasonably healthy doesn't invalidate any of your choices. If you believe what you did is nessisary - it was. It doesn't have to be universally nessisary.
Better yet : who said your transition needs to be necessary to be worthwhile? I certainly didn't. If it was just what you wanted with all your heart - that's enough. You should be able.
There's also this valorizing of my endurance I am picking up on which I think may have been from my statement about how one handles different types of pain. I think you may have taken it as some type of "I'm a fucking bad ass and can endure" sort of sentiment...but that's really not it. What was intended was this -enduring something is handled differently when you are adequately rewarded for your trouble. Yes my experience sucks but I have but when that happens I have adequate reasons to remind myself why exactly why I am doing this. Would I endure this if I were not nigh constantly rewarded for my efforts? No... It's not bravery or self perceived strength that I should hold out because I can or some kind of deep seated transphobia. I don't believe that sacrificing for love is some noble thing. It's literally just the offsets have been simply judged worth the cost. The Mennonite woman is doing what she does out of an assertion that she is stronger and more moral than other people who have made different choices. That's, pardon the language, self aggrandizing bull shit.
The reaction some have trying to convince me of what I am doing as being wrong in some way is something I encounter specifically with binary trans folk who have been through the ringer or who are insecure to the point where I am pretty sure what they are doing is a trauma response. However just because it's a potential trauma response doesn't mean it is cool. Think of it this way - In trying to stess test my transition choices by finding fault this way binary trans people are doing what cis people did to them just in reverse - The requesting or coercing of trans people to defend their transition choices. Enbies are sometimes looked at as the weak flank of the arguements that trans people make to society for the right to accommodation. These forms of Enbyphobia aren't often discussed because it's acknowledged that these issues come from pressure from outside the community. A united front pushing things as a nessesity is what gets traction with cis people. Edge cases, nuanced situations and people who do not neatly fit into that narrative sometimes become targets because we are inconvenient so we get hit on multiple flanks having to justify our choices to binary trans people and cis people. It's that shared experience more than anything that keeps me solidly identifying as non-binary rather than binary trans. It's also a personal declaration that I need not conform to anybody else's views of masculinity and acknowledging/accepting rather than rejecting this space I occupy as a possible end goal.