I spent months at a deadlock with a temp name that was just kind of fine. Asked a few cis people how they felt about their name and got a resounding set of "meh!"
Went with my temporary placeholder name. It doesn't have to be great. It just doesn't have to hurt.
The person who is ridiculed because they are different, disowned from their families because they can't meet the demands of pretending to be someone they are not, denied the social accommodation that makes their lives comfortable, refused housing because of how they look, denied the health care that helps them feel centered because it creeps out the people who do not have their condition... How can their mind be still?
Trans health is dependent on the people around us the same way your health is dependent on the people around you. Trans joy is as possible as trans suffering. The difference is in other people allowing it to happen.
Okay I am getting that you are likely fairly young as you are skipping to wanting to marry someone after a few weeks of dating. My advice to you is slow down and take your time. Dating is an excellent testing ground for whether or not you are romantically and sexually compatible. Take advantage of the time to explore before locking yourself into a messy legal contract.
Not wanting to kiss or hold hands isn't nessisarily an asexual thing and if we're having this conversation at all you are very probably not aromantic. Is this an aversion to touch in an emotional sense or does it extend to aversion to sex? There's a fair number of people out there who are affection based "touch blunted" and some of the advice offered to those people aren't as usual for people on the asexuallity spectrum.
Regardless it can be quite difficult for partners of people who are touch adverse. They have to learn a not entirely intuitive form of showing affection for someone and go without forms of affection that they have relied on since early childhood. It isn't impossible but it is a rough road and often the compromise is either in the middle or finding a partner whom plays by similar rules. For some it is legitimately a deal breaker in a romantic relationship because going without is legitimately more difficult for some people than others.
Sad part is it doesn't matter if they retract the news statement people are already thinking the guy is some kind of trans avenger or something. The trans people are enemies part gets screamed. The "it was a mormon cis guy who has the parlance of the average 22 year old internet troll" gets whispered real quiet.
My family is genuinely great. Once they got past the short mandatory awkward phase everyone was totally jazzed that I was living my best life. My grandparents don't always nessisarily "get it" but my coming out phonecall basically involved my mostly Deaf grandpa yelling in a stenotorian voice minutes after the news broke "(New Name) is a wonderful name kiddo! It suits you!". My cousins on that side of the family were momentarily mystified but most of them did their own quick research and were super supportive.
Never let them tell you some folks are just too old. My 92 year old great great uncle already had an enby carer and he had told me before I came out "It saddens me they must struggle so much in this small town since they are such a beautiful soul."
My Dad's side of the family we just never bothered to tell. They all live far away and we basically haven't seen them for over a decade and their bible thumping estranged them from us long before.
In short. I am blessed.
And transgender ideology? What is that? To be nice to transgender people?
If I were to frame it in terms of an ideology - that we should be allowed to pursue happiness and comfort aided by the backing of scientific evidence to ensure we are safe. That our lives not be rendered into terms where reproductive function or lack thereof dictates how we must live our lives.
And that while we do not demand full metaphysical submission of belief of other people that we are our gender it should be acknowledged that our social engineering mechanisms are a kindness that allow us greater room to psychologicaly function. These absences of accommodation in professional situations or public design causes either our livelihoods or accessibility to spaces or facets of society to become hardships above and beyond the average citizen.
I personally do not care if someone is "nice" to me or not. I care about being able to leave their vacinity if they are being an ass and that my safety and job security isn't effected by me being trans.
Oh Gods I hope this isn't the case. The right would start foaming at the mouth and could start rounding us up as threats.
It's also... a little ghoulish to speak about a kid losing their parent that way. Whatever you think of the man his kid's grief isn't exactly something to celebrate. I get not mourning the man but celebrating his death isn't going to help us trans folks in the end. I have a feeling that this is going to get a whole lot worse for all of us as a people very quickly and as a whole we're already a group hanging on by our fingertips.
Depends. Vancouver is one of the most queer and specifically trans inclusive places in the world at present. Culturally speaking there aren't a lot of places where a lot of queer accommodation is almost mainstream. Gender neutral bathrooms are becoming wider spread with segregated bathrooms often including signage specifically welcoming trans people. Our informed consent system for trans healthcare is something the UK trans folk have been envious of for years on years and there is a current practice of trans acceptance in schools and vibrant villiage dating scenes that take trans acceptance as a mission.
It isn't perfect, certainly transphobia still exists here but it's about as "bastion" like as you are gunna get.
The issue here is that on Monica's side the punishment was disproportionate. She isn't some rich, powerful person who could withdraw to her ivory tower. She was 22 and made the kind of mistake 22 year olds make and that is what she gets to be known for forever. Think about a 22 year old in your life and the resources they have at their disposal. She went back to her parents place, buried herself away from the world and tried not to commit suicide as all of media took turns making jokes about her being an easy slut. Her day to day life for decades was virtually destroyed with her being barely able to form a career or new relationships. She stopped being a person and endured a prison without a cage.
Clinton got a formalized process and quietly withdrew into absurd wealth while the media by turns gave him largely a pass for being a dog once the process of getting him out of office was done.
Whatever Gods or Devils punished Lewinski they've exacted their due ages ago and kicking people who have already hit the floor hard isn't morally healthy. Nobody needs to continue to hold Lewinski accountable anymore. She served her time.
This is career advice, not anti-intellectualism. With the rising cost of schools that leave so many in debt bondage University has risks. If you pick a field of study that you find rewarding but the jobs associated crush your soul or if there is no job then you end up in fantastic amounts of debt that unlike other debt cannot be forgiven. A lot of education via a university route is padded or inflated with requirements for the degree that do not add to one's meaningful body of knowledge but exist to line the pockets of the institutions.
None of this is to say that one shouldn't pursue knowledge, university is not the only route toward intellectualism. Being in trades does not stop one from learning from other resources. Autodiadactism is on the rise. What people are against is a predatory system of for profit post secondary education.
Misogyny, homophobia, transphobia and other forms of bigotry are also not inherent in blue collar positions by default. It more depends on your geographical location and crew in either situation because the more culturally normal it is in a given city to be queer or how many women are hired in a work place change those workplaces. As a trans person I have worked a number of blue collar jobs that compared to trans friends of mine in whitecollar positions have been more universally accepting of my identity. A number of my co-workers in those construction jobs are also damn near always in classes of some variety, sometimes in accredited institutions but not always. We are all in situations where the job market and personal survival pushes us to the practicality of going where the money is for work but not allowing ourselves to be entirely defined by our jobs. Sometimes the blue collar positions are very meaningful. They are often tied in to incredibly basic facets of quality of life, helping people be properly sheltered, hygenic and comfortable or improving communities through infrastructure.
Your post in some ways comes across as a bit elitist as though white collar positions demanding high levels of acreditied education are more valid than blue collar ones. We should be looking to support blue collar positions as not failure states and provide safety nets for the physical strain of those positions while offering workers chances to obtain education for education sake at reasonable cost to allow them career flexibility and personal enrichment while critiquing systems that place so great a financial burden on students.
Something to consider on two fronts.
Also your concerns are not new. They are also not unstudied. It has been studied extensively. Science has found there is no meaningful difference between the outcomes of being raised by a same-sex couple as a mixed sex couple. They measured their rubric across a number of success variables across physical wellbeing, mental and emotional health, acedemic outcomes and so on. Basically if you are raised by adults who show affection, are responsible and committed to the wellbeing of the child it doesn't really matter what their sex is. At some point trusting a body of science is nessisary over one's gut feelings or supposition.
Here's a study with an approachable abstract to get you started.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4091994/
I spent months at a deadlock with a temp name that was just kind of fine. Asked a few cis people how they felt about their name and got a resounding set of "meh!"
Went with my temporary placeholder name. It doesn't have to be great. It just doesn't have to hurt.