I work in infosec this is just plain amateur. Should have used an MS-DOS computer as the mainframe and kept it in a basement server room that is also a faraday cage. This is a room that is only accessible by Anthony Hopkins and his clone Blanthony Blopkins in a dual key system.

They can discuss excellent rates for their internal affairs.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

An international law firm that works with companies affected by security incidents has experienced its own cyberattack that exposed the sensitive health information of hundreds of thousands of data breach victims.

Orrick works with companies that are hit by security incidents, including data breaches, to handle regulatory requirements, such as obtaining victims’ information in order to notify state authorities and the individuals affected.

The number of individuals known to be affected by this data breach has risen by threefold since Orrick first disclosed the incident.

Orrick said in its most recent data breach notice that it “does not anticipate providing notifications on behalf of additional businesses,” but did not say how it came to this conclusion.

Orrick spokesperson Jolie Goldstein said in a statement: “We regret the inconvenience and distraction that this malicious incident caused.

“We are pleased to reach a settlement well within a year of the incident, which brings this matter to a close, and will continue our ongoing focus on protecting our systems and the information of our clients and our firm,” added Orrick’s spokesperson.

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NotTheOnion