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For this Wednesday Super Slop Night, first up, by popular demand, is Excel Saga (1999), a 26-episode anime series widely considered to be perhaps the greatest shitpost in the history of anime. The eponymous Excel (voiced by Kotono Mitsuishi of Sailor Moon fame) is the henchwoman of a supervillain who runs an evil organization determined to rule the world; their schemes involve different hijinx in every episode, generally parodying other anime and movies, and always ultimately failing miserably and resetting back to the status quo by the start of the next episode. It is kind of an anime version of Pinky and the Brain (1994) if it starred women and was raunchier. Alternatively, it’s Dirty Pair (1985) on drugs. Either way, it is considered a classic of comedy anime. It is theoretically based on Koushi Ridoku’s 1997 manga of the same name, but mostly ignores its content in favor of its own dadaist absurdity. This is widely considered the magnum opus of anime director Shinichi Watanabe, who has made a whole career out of similar comedy shows. Episodes 1 through 5 tonight.

After that is Twilight (2008), the smash-hit vampire romance film that conquered the world in the late 2000s. This is one of the go-to examples of cinematic slop, so we’re going to watch the whole series, so we had better start with the first. Teenage girl Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) finds herself stalked by a handsome stranger (Robert Pattinson) who, uh-oh, turns out to be a vampire. Quickly, she finds herself drawn into an ancient conspiracy of sinister creatures who want her blood. Will Edward be able to protect her from the real monsters? I guess we’ll see. Director Catherine Hardwicke is otherwise known for the high-school comedy Thirteen (2003), which we have not yet watched on the ‘tube.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• Excel Saga: https://letterboxd.com/film/excel-saga/
• Twilight: https://letterboxd.com/film/twilight-2008/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• Excel Saga: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240493/parentalguide/
• Twilight: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/12450

CWs for Excel Saga:

• Sex.
• Nudity.
• Blood and gore.
• Unstable reality.
• Objectification of female characters.
• Profanity.
• Smoking.
• Violence against women.
• Slapstick violence.

CWs for Twilight:

• Gaslighting.
• Stalking.
• Deaths of animals.
• Animal corpses.
• Cruelty to animals.
• Broken bones.
• Someone is physically restrained.
• Death of non-human.
• Suicide.
• Able-bodied actor plays disabled character.
• Razors.
• Natural bodies of water.
• Audio gore.
• Someone is eaten alive.
• Decapitation.
• Copaganda.
• Hospital scene.
• Throat mutilation.
• Jump scares.
• Shaky cam.
• Screaming.
• Someone is watched without their knowledge.
• Misrepresentation of Native Americans.
• Age-gap romance.
• Objectification of female characters.
• Sexual assault: a group of men threaten the female protagonist with sexual intent, but they don’t get very far.
• Car crash.
• Someone is hit by a car.
• Honking horns.
• Screeching tires.
• Blood and gore.
• Torture.
• Body horror.
• Someone is burned alive.
• Cutting of flesh.
• Someone falls down stairs.
• Unconsciousness.

Links to movies:

• Excel Saga ep. 1: https://tankie.tube/w/iHtWZ58FkrJDkp417EkEZH
• Excel Saga ep. 2: https://tankie.tube/w/f3NoPz4p1TgF5WC6vo7kJe
• Excel Saga ep. 3: https://tankie.tube/w/gCb2sjKiXpBaofq1hRRmhb
• Excel Saga ep. 4: https://tankie.tube/w/dKhXPk3eXSWw7PGqmptcv5
• Excel Saga ep. 5: https://tankie.tube/w/bu5b2Ys4P721Nmk5yK9oZ6
• Twilight: https://tankie.tube/w/q6LaSDTGwjvCmUaUKmbXwY