I know nothing of poetry so I cannot comment on whether it's technically correct or now. I just happened to see it on the all page. But this did resonate with me. I think it's great!
this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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Poetry
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A community to celebrate published and OC works of poetry.
Welcome to !poetry
Guidelines & Community Rules
In addition to the general rules of lemmy.world:
Published Poetry
1a: Poetry posts should include the title and the author, when the author is known.
O.C. Poetry
2a: Sharing original poetry is encouraged, but it must be preceded by the tag "[OC]."
2b: If an [OC] post is requesting feedback, it should also follow with the "[FB]" tag. It would look like the following example:
[OC] [FB] Nothing Gold Can Stay
Feedback
All feedback should be given in good faith.
3a: All [FB] requests should be met with comments constructive in nature. It is okay to dislike parts of a poem, but make sure to explain why you feel that way.
3b: Feedback does not need to be extraordinary in nature. Simply expressing how a work makes you feel is often enough.
3c: Use the honor system. When you receive good feedback, return it in kind to another author. Everyone appreciates knowing their work is being read and appreciated.
As this community develops, these guidelines may be adjusted.
Formatting Help
Work in progress
To create a line break, use two spaces at the end of a line.
To create empty space, type .
Use four of these at the beginning of a line to create a standard indent.
UPDATE:
Some methods of access do not format markdown correctly. I am currently testing various apps and web interfaces to see what does and does not retain formatting.
In the interim, it is encouraged to post text poetry as you normally would, but to include a link at the beginning or end of the post with access to a website or image that retains the formatting as intended.
Other Poetry Communities
Poetry lovers unite! In the style of the fediverse, multiple poetry communities have arisen, and will continue to rise. I will try to keep a list here of communities across instances that are worth checking out!
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Glad you like!
yeah that is how it feels. makes me feel hopeless.
I ain't going to be shamed for grocery shopping.
I didn't really like the middle stanza, it's too blunt and banal somehow, I guess that's the point but it doesn't really land for me at all. "Think of the starving children" is such a cliché, "while men make decisions on who gets to live" isn't a great line to me.
And it is a shame because I really liked the first and last stanzas.
This:
The world is on fire and I'm choosing
between two kinds of soap.
is so much better. That is great. And the ending too.
I think the point is the banality actually, I think the point is that we've heard that line for so long that it's hard to make it seem real, but then we actually ARE on fire and we realize we've ignored that too and are picking between sandalwood and lavender.
I see what you're saying but it doesn't really work for me. But looking at the replies I've gotten I accept that I seem like the odd one out here.
It's ok if it doesn't work for you :).
I like that it's banal. There's something creepy about how commonplace the horrors of the world are, how a child starving to death is so common that it is taken for granted that it is happening while I'm shopping for groceries. Every time I shop for groceries, no less. If I try to really appreciate the hugeness of the problem I get overwhelmed, so I just... don't. I accept that the children who are dying right now are beyond my help, and I focus on finding something with which to wash my hair. It sucks.
I've been told "think of the starving children" so many times over the course of my life that it doesn't illicit a reaction for me anymore other than maybe the rolling of my eyes. If the poet wants me to actually absorb this shift in perspective I require something else, more effective and specific imagery, more concrete examples... something. Simply saying it doesn't do anything for me, and if anything it took me out of a poem I otherwise enjoyed.
But I appreciate that may be a me-problem. I may be too cynical and jaded.
That's what I'm getting at: I don't think it's just a you problem. The cliched-ness of the examples (hungry child, climate change, powerful men making life-or-death decisions), the very fact that they are common enough to be cliches, makes me think of the callouses that build up out of necessity that allow us to function in a world filled with things that, should we ever experience them first-hand, would shatter us. Or would they? I've never seen a child starve to death. I don't know how I would react. But the fact that such awful things happen while I blithely comparison shop soaps is... it feels like it should be jarring but it isn't, and that absence is a kind of discomfort I don't have a good word for. Ennui maybe?
Maybe it's a painful stanza for a reason
Quite poignant right now - and always.
Never heard that word in my life. Thanks for showing me a new word.
Be sure to look up the pronunciation of it too - it's an odd one!
Poing-nyant
I guess? I know how to say it, but it's hard to write phonetically
yeah that's how i'd write it phonetically, but it must be said 'poing' is pronounced the same as 'boing' like when a spring goes BOING! haha! 😆