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Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
RULES:
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If you fucked some bitch with a big ole ass and some fatnatties, I would be so mad and we would be done.
If I found out you were watching some dumb AF tv corpo brainrot with a bitch you fucked?! I'd learn ancient Sumerian, summon every deep dark toothy grinning thing I could, rip your existence from the fabric of creation, and pin the tattered eyes I pulled from your eternally tortured flesh, to a signpost just outside reality, to forever watch and weep at your transgressions against humanity.
So what I'm hearing is that you're NOT a very big fan of the Desperate Housewives franchise? Duly noted.
Also very true.
I think the root of the anger would be at the realization that I married someone with such a floppy sponge spine that they were snuggling up to their side and watching dumb shit, or someone for whom desperate housewives bonding was necessary, and they hid one or the other from me to bind me in matrimony.
Wha…what would happen if I forget to put my dishes in the dishwasher?
I'da thought that watching the corpo brainrot would be punishment enough in itself.
This is a good point. As a life goal I am trying to see the destitute lives people like this lead, as punishment in itself. Thank you for your help in this.
I take it all back. I would tell the woman everything I could think of to help her to keep him forever. Then I would make a public announcement about how I found out but there were no hard feelings, wish them well, and pay for a honeymoon-style month-long trip for them. All without letting him know ahead of time.
Awesome positivity there, fam. Just make sure your lawyer follows up with em and gets all you can thru the prenup.
He was responding between rounds of LoL
Actually kinda cute :3
(Please let the cheating be the only morally questionable thing. Please don't let there be a suspicious age gap or power disbalance -- no I don't know a thing about his affairs)
Wait until you hear about his driving career
DUIs? :/
Multiple
sigh
Wasn't Tiger Woods the guy who ended up coming out unharmed in like 2-3 major car-flipping accidents too?
I wouldn’t say “unharmed” his entire body is fucked. It’s just hard to tell what was from the preexisting back injury which is what led to his opioid addiction and what is from the car accidents which all occurred while high af on opioids.
The only saving grace is they’ve all been single-vehicle accidents.
I've never cheated, so I can only consider this from the perspective of talking to a partner or love interest.
I would describe someone as "sexy," perhaps, including directly to that individual if appropriate; but I can't imagine addressing them as such. I'm all for pet names, but that one seems a bit diminutive.
I cheated once, in a relationship that had a dead bedroom for years before (her choice), and the moment that happened i walked up to my ex and confessed what happened. She understandably was hurt for a moment, but after some dialogue she realized that this came from a deep sense of feeling abandoned by her, which was the reality of our situation. For her it was always more about parties, concerts and festivals and having someone for that, and when i couldn't deal with the perma-party anymore, she lost interest in me, while still feeling obligated to not just leave me behind.
I never watched Desperate Housewives with anyone tho, it was more Breaking Bad and Battlestar Galactica lol, and the pet names were "MausMaus" and "Schatz" - "Mousemouse" and "Treasure". Nowadays i'd prefer if someone used my real name in a caring way.
Only German would make the word for "treasure" sound like an intestinal condition that causes you to call out of work
I can't advocate cheating, but I care about you.
I loved Desperate Housewives and Battlestar Galactica.
I would never have cheated if i felt in any way physically appreciated in the years before. The temptation wouldn't have been there in any way if my ex had show interest in me in any way the months before out breakup - it's not that i didn't try to make her as comfortable as possible. I am someone who needs physical appreciation (not even sex - just cuddling would have been enough to feel connected), but that simply wasn't available, and i latched onto someone who cared about my physical and mental needs.
You have to wonder what a conversation between Charlie Sheen and Tiger Woods would be like?
Charlie: If we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate housewives together again haha
Tiger: oh god...
"Does that smell like coke to you?"
Deep sniff
"I'm not sure let me try again."
Deeper sniff
"Actually, now I'm not even sure myself anymore."
Deep sniffing intensifies