I obeyed God yesterday or the day before. It all bleeds together now, the past. But God has said in a weird form of strawberry - meaning They send me exclusively ads for weird Facebook marketplace yadda yadda, which triggers thoughts of this n that - and I obeyed, creating an ad for that skill I presented yo investigators who realize I'm talking to them as well as observererers, or whatever the sheep think they are, but I did that, and y'know, thirty people saw it, with one messaging me, and that is the reason that today I had 1/15th of a panic attack when a man honked while I was waiting at the light en route to return a laptop to see him point and laugh at me, jovially, like a friend.
Like, fuck. I KNOW I'm not a celebrity, but I'm kinda "famous," which is FAR different than what I thought it would be years ago, and that fucks my shit up. I really ain't doing much in terms of sin. I buy literally one beer a couple times a week, and I smoke maybe two or three cigarettes a day, total, now in thirds n halves. I've quit smoking four times now, and I've quit much else before for different stretches. Something is really different now. Like, I'm fucking wallowing inside, how lonely I am, but I would not consider myself "lonely," if I were to exclusively use the definition I used ten-fifteen years ago.
Like, I'm alone in so many ways, but it ain't HELL HELL. I'm just a little on fire. Fuck! Fire! That shit hurts! But I've seen the full inferno one can be in, so I march on like a fucking Terminator, and I recognize that's a part of my specific trauma, this idea of overcoming being an indestructible turbotank and thus is why the CIA had me be a woman for a few years, as that is what allowed me to fire those neurons those ways to maximize neuroplasticity in those critical moments of healing, and if you don't understand the power of "the oracle" you are greatly bereft of wisdom in this world ruled by logic.
I say Angela is the highest/greatest human being without a nation. This idea, I know, is directly related to why Eragon's author wrote "Angela" into his story that directly mirroredthe plot of Star Wars. He knew something in his intuition about the most intuitive amongst us. Those people who are most punished for being the most different, and so that is one reason I are crazy dog sorcerer, as it gets the bad people to oust themselves, as I have previously stated to investigators.
But hey, who is the oracle? She makes Neo break vase. Knows power of Eve. Knows how to manifest her own will in illusory world. Knows true reality. Knows herself. Knows emptiness. The first Buddha/Christ/shaman was a woman. She would have been the most misunderstood. God says I must male decision. Just got berry. Strawberry. Living Illuminati behind it. Strange. Always watching me. They know. Or they think they do. I think. I are dumb. On porpoise!
