Some people do this to convey that they are listening and paying attention. However, when overused, (like saying sometimes name 5 times in a sentence in a one to one conversation) I have always found it disingenuous and try to avoid doing it myself.
this post was submitted on 12 May 2026
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yes, it makes me really uncomfortable! I had a friend who would always say my name while talking to me, and it felt somehow... diminutive? Like she was trying to be motherly? I don't know.
Yes that's weird.
yes
Oh my gosh, I genuinely thought I was the only one who felt this way.
I've even seen people online in smaller communities referring to each other by their first names instead of their user handles and it always made me cringe a little for some reason haha
The bright side being that I'm completely immune to "neurolinguistic programming" or whatever weird shit manipulators are taught to use. Every single time I hear my name emphasized or repeated, it's like I can hear the slash 8-bit sfx and my HP going down.
Do this enough times and I will begin to avoid you like an actual viral contagion, bwahaha
Chiming in with the 'you might be neurodivergent' crowd.
Absolutely typical.
Welcome and feel free to ping if you want to know stuff.
Everybody to me is "Hey Y'all"
I think you're just autistic, buddy. This is not typical behavior for people that are not neurodivergent. The tell is that you get "oddly angry" when someone uses your name when they're strangers. Good luck navigating life with this one.
As an autistic person with ADHD too I was going to say this. I hate my name being used, I strongly prefer dude or mate, I'll even take "hey you", but using my name is very similar to extreme eye contact or touching my hands. No, no thank you, I would prefer not to.
It's not an unreasonable gripe and autism isn't an insult.
Some people use your name too much and it does feel weird, like they're trying to use their self-help book advice on you. "Good luck navigating life" is a nasty thing to say. Don't be a dick
I'm not insulting or being a dick. You just are tone policing text, which is wild. I am autistic too. My "good luck" was sincere. Fuck yourself, you holier-than-thou loser.
Feeling this. My preferred method to acknowledge people when talking is to look at them. Bad enough, in my opinion. About the only time I use a person's name is in a greeting or, more often, to get their attention.
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I do the same "hey man, what's up?" Because it takes my brain a second to use the search function. I know their name but I can't come up with it in time for passing chat. So "hey man" comes off as less of a dick move than just standing there staring blankly at them.
Names exist specifically so other people have something to call you. There is no point in having a name if it isn't explicitly for the purpose of being used by other people.
Yes it is weird. It is your name, why else should they call you? “Cat with the fluffy eyebrows”?
I assumed the unspoken rule is rule is that the client can give my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints.
The call center would certainly now you took the call without needing your name, but you are partially correct. You giving your name humanizes your interaction with the client so the client is less inclined to submit a complaint. Also so much of customer satisfaction with outages and issues is achieved just by having someone address the issue.
When a customer reads my name tag in an attempt to be friendly
I used to always wear someone else's name tag because I got a kick out of them calling me by random names
I hate being called "sir" it sounds pretentious as fuck. Use my name, its far more personable and normal. Titles are like dress codes - completely made up theater that people play along with.
In the event of a call center scenario, it wouldn't even be hard to track down who took the call whether they remembered my name or not, so I still wouldn't care.
The only time it would be weird/annoying is if the person so constantly using my name instead of a pronoun, or if they're using a tone to imply negativity toward it.
Yeah, we got rid of nobility for a reason. Demanding being called sir, madame, doctor, etc. Is just a holdover of middle class envy towards aristocracy. I'd much rather prefer to be called by my name than some arbitrary words meant to separate people into hierarchies.
I think in this case it's more about them repeating your name. Feels fake.
In general I don't use titles but at work I usually call men sir when they're 50+ and I've never seen someone get bothered by it. It feels weird to go up to a stranger and say "Hi Brian, I heard you're having chest pain today and I have some questions for you" or whatever. They don't react negatively and seem to feel more respected. I don't call women "m'am" because I know that can be irritating.
I think doctor only makes sense when you're in a role at work. If you're a visitor at a salon, don't insist on it. If my boyfriend is booking a plane ticket he shouldn't add Dr., but if he's at a conference for fellow PhDs they should. If I'm at work they better call me doctor and not Miss or by my first name or I'll be big mad
Must be a cultural thing. Where I'm from, if a doctor doesnt call you by name it is a red flag. It means they didn't read the patient's file. Teachers would flag student doctors negatively for it. You treat people, not loosely grouped collections of symptoms. Nurses are also strictly trained to call people by name (perhaps by Mr/ms surname, but that's part of a holdover from reinforcing hierarchies), you know why? Because our hospitals have wards of anything between 12 and 30 beds and up. Calling "Sir please return to your bed" means nothing with 40 men in the same room, you have to be specific.
On the other hand, if you work a position of power, most people will call you doctor. It's lawyers fault, really, as they historically used to hold all the political positions. They insisted so aggressively to be called doctors that now anyone in a position of authority or hierarchy, however slight it might be, is called doctor, even if they aren't. Including in the medical field. Tons of people who aren't doctors in medicine are called doctors, students of medicine are called doctors from day one, administration staff in medical settings will be called doctor, etc.
It also reinforces the first part. Lowly patients must call everyone inside a hospital doctor, but doctors don't owe any title to anyone below them. Sure, it might arise from general ignorance about how the education system works, but it also illustrates how titles are always about separating people into hierarchies. It's just an academic dick measuring contest.
I'm just bad with remembering names so I've learned to just not use them.
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Yeah, I fuckin hate it when people use my name while talking. It feels very awkward and creepy to me, especially if they use it often. I don’t wanna hear that. I know who I am.
I hate it when they constantly repeat it. It's a stupid management/politician thing and it isn't natural. But why should I mind "Hello Mrs X" or "Hello Starling"?
Spamming my name in conversation is a whole other thing. It feels like they’re trying to sell me something, or otherwise persuade or convince by faking a level of trust they haven’t earned.
Yes! It’s akin to someone touching me unbidden. It’s gross and it feels gross to use people’s names around them. I almost never call my partner by their name to them.
Oh my godddd, that's exactly what it feels like! It's the verbal equivalent of a stranger placing their hand on the small of your back and refusing to leave.
YES ABSOLUTELY. It squicks me out so much. I used to work in a call center and I was very friendly but definitely all business—with what I was doing, the reasons for calls are very cut-and-dry. When I would pick up the phone and greet someone and they’d go off with:
“Good morning, Rai. How are you doing today?”
“…great”
“That’s good to hear, Rai. Rai, can I ask…”
I instantly am in a nightmare world and want to delete them from my life.
It gives me the big cringe lol
It's less painful having a conversation with ChatGPT than a person like that, istg hahaha
This 100%
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It feels more personal to use names. I use them to remove distance between and the other person. I wouldn't like that for a sales call either, but otherwise I think it's important for building relationships.
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I so agree. I can't quite explain why but it feels so weird. I know my name.
I don't really use names either unless I have to or I'm very familiar with people. I'm very bad with names and I'm always afraid of calling someone the wrong name so even if I know their name, I still won't call them by it because in a couple days, I may have forgotten their name and what if I'm wrong and I call someone I've known for years the wrong name?
Chiming in to say, yep, me too. One example that used to really drive me nuts was when I'd go to the gym and the person at the front desk would acknowledge me by name, even though we've never had an actual conversation or anything. It felt fake and forced and I hated it so much.
I also always felt so awkward as a kid talking about my friends' parents. Mr./Mrs. LastName usually felt weird, but it also usually felt weird to use their first names, so I'd almost always refer to them as Friend's mom/dad.
Here, kids usually call the parents Ms. Firstname. On sir/ma'am, I did tell my kids to use that with servers, cashiers, housekeepers.
Same for me. I don't care about pronouns that are used for me but hearing or seeing my name used anywhere feels weird as hell. Maybe it just plays into my general dislike of being perceived.
Have you asked yourself why you feel this way? Names literally exist to be used. No cultural norm I am aware of prohibits their use, other than it would be weird in limited contexts like if you called your parents by their names. But even that is not universal. A stranger using your name is not disrespectful in the least, so getting mad about that seems like a problem.
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Is your name a TrageDeliah or something?
But as someone with a Chinese Name in an English-Speaking country, I do feel very weird when someone calls my name...
They'll never get the real version of the name, only an Anglicanized version of it.
It feels weird, like it feels kinda like a name that only Chinese people are supposed to call me, having a non-Chinese say that name feels like if a teacher called you those nicknames only your family members are supposed calls you by...
I never feel weird saying someone elses name. Like wut bruh?
But yea I get it, the phone call giving their name is very weird to me... like c'mon you're supposed to be a faceless nameless person who I talk to for 10 minutes lol
Even in person customer service is still weird unless you're more long term.... like I'm a client or something... like real estate agent or car sales person
Not fucking customer service or a fastfood, dont wanna know your name and I don't like giving out mine either
Whenever somebody uses my name I immediately feel like I'm in trouble, then when I realize I'm not, I feel like they are faking intimacy by continuing to say my name and are attempting to manipulate me.
I'm also that guy that will be completely clueless that you are in to them until you grab me by the junk. So, there's that.
It depends on how you define weird, but this phenomenon has a name (if that gives you a clue as to how common or uncommon it might be): Alexinomia
I also not only struggle with not feeling weird when I hear my name, but I also just avoid using other people’s names to the point that people get upset with me when I am trying to tell them about things involving multiple people because I will simply never name any of them. It makes listening to me rather confusing for others, and I’m not even entirely aware I’m doing it. And I die a little bit inside whenever I’m in a situation that requires me to address someone by name.
Might be worth looking into Alexinomia for some more information if this is bothering you.
I wonder how people who are afflicted with this and also named Alex feel about that label.
I think using people's names is an old life hack from "How to win friends and influence people". Most people respond well to it.
It's also a nice thing in a group where some people might not know or might have forgotten other people's names. Then they don't have to ask.
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i feel that. i assumed it is an autistic trait ... also theres a trans thing in my life. i like my new name a lot better.
still there are situations, in which i think it's unneccesarry to say my name. especially , when you already have my attention. people pointed to 'removing distance' as a function. i usually like my distance. "hi, kluczyczka." sounds waaay to forward, as if you want to eat me. if you already have my attention, just say "hi". ...
in languages which have strong formality, i tend to use these forms a lot more than others too, this usually uses the family name , which has a nice distance to it? so "hi, ms tchncs.de" would be fine with me.
I don't mind when people say my name, but I am reluctant to use names. Even when I know the name of the person I'm talking to, I'm afraid I'll say the wrong one.
Same lol
I don't like when people work my name into a conversation ("that's a good point, glimse!" Not "hey glimse how's it going?") because it makes me....suspicious. Like mind instantly jumps to the tactic taught to sales people to build rapport with prospective customers.
My guess is that it's a defense mechanism. I've been taken advantage of after blindly trusting someone before, now I'm predisposed to look for the signs.
I'm sure it doesn't help that I don't really love my name. I don't care enough to change it but it wouldn't have been my first pick.
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