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Man Wishes Women In Crowded Bar Would Let Him Read Jane Austen Novel In Peace

MODESTO, CA—Frustrated with the nonstop unwanted intrusions, local man Russell Goldin wished Thursday that the women in crowded O’Donnell’s Pub would let him read his Jane Austen novel in peace. “Jesus, will all these women just go away and let me enjoy Pride And Prejudice without being constantly interrupted,” said Goldin, explaining that just because he’s smiling and shaking his head as he reads the book in view of female bar patrons doesn’t mean he wants to be hit on. “Every single time I start becoming enraptured by an exquisitely rendered piece of British drollery, I’m pulled out of it by some lady trying to ask me what I’m reading. I came here to drink red wine and be transported to the world of the 18th-century British landed gentry, not make flirtatious small talk.” At press time, Goldin was forced to give a fake number to a woman who approached him asking if he would be interested in discussing Austen over dinner sometime.

unnecessarily serious reply to a joke post: i have been thinking a lot recently about the phrase performative male and i have come to the conclusion that it's lib trash. it identifies and singles out as somehow different or non-standard men who perfom masculinity in a different way from traditional masculinity and ascribes the "performative" label only to those men and their various non traditional masculinities. this is problematic because it assumes that traditional masculinity - driving trucks, eating red meat, making homophobic jokes with boys, etc - is somehow not performed, and that the men performing it are actually Just Being Men, as opposed to performing their own masculinity. it's a double standard rooted in stereotypes of men and a 20th century understanding of masculinity and it ultimately serves to hold men back from expressing their own masculinity in non-traditional way

tldr: calling it performative masculinity when traditional masculinity is also a performance reinforces the harmful attitude that reading (and doing anything other than being a toxic hateful shithead) is gay

thank you for coming to my ted talk

When I do that, I just read the dictionary. It has the most words per page and the biggest ones so I wordmog the other males in that area of operations. Whenever someone passes me I try to pronounce the biggest one I can find.

I read Programmed to Kill while waiting for a flight once. Nobody noticed, they were all too busy brainslopping on they phones to wake up to the horrifying truth all around them.

Yes u should read 10 Days that Shook the World instead, 100 DTSTW is just a forced cashgrab sequel

All male actions are performance male actions

Dunkin Donuts?