this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
44 points (95.8% liked)

Not the Onion

2977 readers
4 users here now

For true stories that are so ridiculous, that you could have sworn it was an !theonion worthy story.

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Am I allowed to maliciously editorialize here?

top 15 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 22 points 3 weeks ago

Active‑duty and reserve U.S. military personnel are expressing deepening disillusionment with President Donald Trump’s strategy in the war against Iran, fearing they are being treated as “political pawns”

My siblings in Christ, what do you think armed forces are?

[–] waterSticksToMyBalls@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

“We don’t want to die for Israel.”

Your president, your senator, your congressman, your church, and of course Israel want you to die for Israel. So it's time to die for Israel.

[–] timewarp@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

That's precisely what they were signing up for, but if they don't like it then they should probably reach out to an attorney regarding this illegal war.

[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Unfortunately war crime law doesn't work like that. While "just following orders" isn't an excuse for individual war crimes, it is for participating in an illegal war, so courts don't allow challenges to deployment on those grounds.

[–] timewarp@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Me thinks Trump needs to prove imminent threat to bypass congressional approval, especially with Trump's own officials' statements directly contradicting that.

[–] Cargon@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago

If you're going to die for a bunch of perverts you might as well frag the CO on your way out right?

[–] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

At least they're finally realizing the true reason of their service, they should have from the beginning.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 2 points 3 weeks ago

Nah, I was young and dumb, but also kind of observant (I was busy with work, school, parenting), and almost signed up myself. But I chose to do something else instead, for reasons.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

I guess they’ve never heard of chess.

[–] RiverRock@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 weeks ago

That is quite literally all you signed up for

[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I could’ve maybe accepted this excuse years ago but not anymore. They are fighting for the pedophile class.

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fragging is always an option :)

[–] tastemyglaive@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago

I do wonder what the actual sabotage capability of any uber-Tuckerbrained little Hitlers running around in those cybernetic & enginnering intensive environments is. Dunno where to start. I guess exmil weirdos on Telegram but they fucking LOVE lying too much. Plus CIA bait

[–] bennieandthez@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago

dude you literally signed to be a political pawn, that's exactly your job.

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yes you did