this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2026
551 points (98.2% liked)

Funny

14239 readers
1776 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 33 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] dantel@programming.dev 55 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I like how this also implies those people's kids all end up in hell...

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 53 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Sorry, original sin means if you die before you’re old enough to understand religion you go straight to hell. I don’t make the rules.

(Neither do Christians, but they think they do.)

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Never fear! Mormons baptize the dead in case they died without the opportunity to be baptized during their lifetime. I love loopholes lol

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Imagine being dragged, kicking and screaming, into Mormon heaven.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I don't have to imagine, I dated a mormon girl once lol

[–] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Wha was the intimacy like, if applicable? Sorry, I cannot help my curiosity.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 3 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Very similar to a young woman that went to catholic school all through high school and hasn't recovered from the trauma yet lol. horny asf but guilty and anxious as hell. and, an extra layer to unwrap due to the magic underwear

[–] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

exactly what I was expecting

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

lol actually it was the most vanilla experience possible

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

lol...i'm just glad i hadn't yet heard of their practice called soaking back then

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

that was a fun urban legend to will into reality. those zoobies will not do anything

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

if the magic underwear fits...

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i think one of the defining characteristics of their magic underwear is that it doesn't fit

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

yeah, it was all baggy on the girl i dated. and it smelled funny, but that could have just been her lol

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

oh gods she wasn't from upwind by the plant was she

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Everyone is so kinky that vanilla is itself a kink.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But, is it kinkier if I take my socks off, or leave them on?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That depends. Are they business socks, and is it business time?

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

sadly, lazy socks and lazy time

i thought that meant limbo contests

Those kids have been through enough. No need to sentence them to an eternity with the clergy.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

I like how this also implies that Satan exists as anything other than man's ego.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 day ago

Unbaptized babies go to limbo.

Unvaccinated ones go straight to hell.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Gonna abort my kids to make sure they get measles IN HELLLLL 👎👎👎

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Of course he is. Throughout history, far more children died than survived. And as there was no Christianity for most of human history, those are obviously all in hell.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 17 hours ago

Why else would kids be called little hellions if they don't go to hell?

[–] JizzmasterD@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Damn. Look at that tag, @s8n! So cool your soul never stood a chance!

[–] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago