You guys think Starbucks hasn't been waiting for Cthulhu's coming all this time to serve him? Black and green colors? That two-tailed mermaid? Yeah, that's Stæ'Rhabhuk, Holder of the Chalice and Slaker of the Dark Lord's Thirst.
Funny
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
I imagine His wet Highness takes his coffee with salted caramel.

Imagine your name is Cathy Lou and the barrista reads that as a blasphemous gurgle that is impossible to produce with human vocal cords.
the barrista reads that as a blasphemous gurgle that is impossible to produce with human vocal cords
I mean, isn't that how they already read ALL names? 🤷
I bet sitting in any Starbucks on the Klingon homeworld is a laugh riot.
"She calls you Payless! The Great House of Payless shoe discount Emperor, is honored!!"
names (beyond my comprehension) of horrors (that are also beyond my comprehension)
🙂 <-- me after witnessing otherworldly horrors that are beyond my comprehension (I couldn't comprehend them)
(nothing sinister, I'm just very bad at comprehending)
That's how them mofuks always speak to me. WHAT AM I, A GNOLL?!

Yes I am very proud. I'm still learning I'll leave no HEY STOP PUSHING ME
We're pushing you to keep going! Well done!
I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY
😭
I will not let you consider this pity! This is praise of your skills whether you like it or not!
i am doomed

Censer: vessel for dispersal of incense
Incense: dried matter for smoldering of aromatics that go in a censer (hol'up. wat.)
Incensed: smoking out of one's visible orifices like a censer?
Do you want the caramel cappuccino or not?
.......yes
ę̷̡̛̭̝̳͚̲̻̣̹͎͎̪̳̥̫̣̳̰̙͎̜̥͓͔̦̣̞̰̣̅͗̍̐̆̎̆͗̇͛̑̆̐͌̉͆͂̉̔͛̈̍͒͛̊͛͛́̅̈́̽̊̕̕͜͜͝ͅa̴̻̘͙̘̫̦̯͕̙̯̯̲͖̗͖͚͖͔̤̠̦͖̭̱̘͂̍͆̓̏̈́̓͂͒͆͆̔̐͊͊̍͆̍͂̐̿̈̋̏͛̐͐̑͆͐́̄̕̕͘͝͝!̷̧̛̲̮̻̾̊̑́́̽́͑͑͒̑͐͘̚ ̸̛͖̳͕̱͖̬̭̪̹͇̖̦̞̦̠͉̼̩̩̏̀̅̌̀̒́̉͆͗̍̾̓͌͒̆̍͌͑̽̂͊͌̈́̽̈́̕̕e̴̢̬̭͙̮̠͈̜͈̝̤͖̋̈́̈́̀͛̇̓̂̒̑̂̎̑̂̓̏͒̏̉̏̈́̍̍͊̅̓͋̈́̀̇͒͊̇́̚͠͝͝ͅä̶̡̧̘͖͉̺̺͔̲̹̪̜̮̟̤̜͔͕͙̗̙̩͈̭̗͕̯̩͙̠̪͎͕͎̯̱͇̫͕̖̣̣́̓̑̈̽̅̃̌̏̓̍̏̂́͒́̽̈̈́̋͆͊͐̈̚͝!̶̧̬͍͔͔͎̣̤̫͉͈̗͙̣̬̫̼̘̞͚̟̩̫̝́͐̂͋̒̾̉̌̌̄͗̈́̇̎̓̑̇͊̒͑͑̄̅̒̐̐̐͗̌̓̎͒̈́̾͗͘̕͘͘ ̶̨̨̧͚̼̼͇̰̬͚̙̩̜͔̻͎̹̪̪͉̞̺̣͍̖̳̘͈̫͍̩̼̪͕͉͍͕͖͚͂̉̆͌͂̅̋̓̀̾̊̀͛͑̄̓̊͗̑̐͊͗̈́̽̾̎̀̌̈́̈́́͊̆̓̓͂͐̕͘̚͝͠ͅͅC̵̡̖̝̲̯̣̮̳̫͈̠̖̬̯̦̰̦͉͖̟̟̺̻̝̫͕̞͕̖̗̺̩͑̄̎̂̋̎̉̅̋͌̽̆͂̍́̋̚͠ͅȧ̶̡̢̭͖̥̟͚̗̘̣̮̭͕̰̩̠̯̻̣̻̣̭̅̾͗̑̂̾̾͒̀̈́̆̄̔̈́̐̍̒̚̚͘͜ͅţ̴̧̟̥̘̭̙̱͍̞̻͖̯͓̭̠̙͙͕̪͖̙͚̬̹͇͋̏̀̈́̽̄̅͛͌͒̾̍͂̕͝͠h̷̢̧̨̨̡̨̧̡̛̩̻̼̠̭͇̺̞͙̜̯̯͓̮͓̬̪̜̼̹̱͓̙̫͉̝̻̜͔̤̠̜̤̾͊̓̒̇̊̀̊̅̎́̐̇̎͑́̈́͑͗͊͗́̋́̌̒̓̎͛̋̈́̈́͗͊͊̄̀͌̔͗͜͝͠ͅy̷̡̨̢̛͚͇̭̱̝̝̦̠̼̖͈̻̝̘͎̤͖̗̘͕̺̦̖̭̽͌̔͆̉́̂̔͛̋̅͂͗́̀̀͒̾͐̏̕̚͘͘̚͜͠͠ ̷̢͉̥̱͙̤͉̜͎̫͕͕̣̙̭̼͈̯̦͊̃̍͌̍̾̽̓͒͛͑̀̽͊̆͌̀̏ͅĻ̶̢̨̝̠̪̳̭͕̥̣̹̰͍͉̬̞̱͖̦̜̟͉̜̽̎̉͋̎̉͗̊̆̍̉͋̀́̔͗͛́̔̽̈́̅̈͋̄̏́͂͛̾̅̇̂̀̌̋̈́̚̚̕͜͝o̴̢̙̣̦͚͍̱͍͇̐̔̇̀͑͋͆̔͒̾́͗͠͠ȗ̶̡̢̦̬͎͓͚̻̙̱̱͍̤̮̤͙̥̥͔̩̟̹̝̟͉̻̈̑̍͆̍̔̀͆̽͊͒̈́͆̌̌̾̀͐̈͜ͅ ̵̧̨̡̢̡̰̭̣͖̘̲̫̤̼̻͉̻͉͌́̽̈́̉̓̾̓̃̌̊̂͒͋͊̂͜͜͜͝͝f̴̧̯͇̣̭̙͍̥͚͙̪̹̜̘̠̖̪̣͚̭̻̜̩͉̗̦͓̜̹̟̮̟̹͉͍̭̬̠̲̉̌̽̌̀̈̈́̋́͆͂͒̌͌̚ͅŗ̸̢̛̛̯͉̠̰̤͉͔͚͍̞̠̞̜͉̹̗̳̞́́͒̏͆͛́̏̌̂̃̒̒̈́̀̏̐̾̽̈̓̈̑̉̚̕͝͝ȁ̷̛͈͉̬̣̥̺̞͔̯̈́͂̽̔̂̆̓̆̾̏̑̀̊̎̀̇̏̓͊̆̃̔̌͐̍͐̊̾̈͊̚̕͘̚̕͘̕̕͝͝͝t̴̢̡̖͇̖͖̙̬̹͕̮̤̲̦͙̻͍̤̙̘̜̖͖̬͚̂̉͋̐̽͋̊͐̐͜͜ͅą̵̢̨̧̡̛̟͍̲̳̝͈̞̦̭͕͔̺̼̞̤̯͍̩͎̜͓̭̠̻̱̣̺̤̲̠̗̆̉̉͂̐͑̏͑̎̌̓͛͛͑̓̈́̈̿̇͊̀̑̓͂̉́́̈̌̎̂̉̌̾̐̕͝͝͝ͅḩ̵̧̢̧̝̩̘̣̞̹̼̟̘̘̙̈͊͑̑̊͗̏͐̏́̉́̃̾̈͂̑͋͐̚͜͜͝͝͠g̶̢̨̡̨̧̨̮̘͔̺̘͖̺̺̤͕̭͚͔̣̟͉͙͙͕̪̗̰̰̣̜̳̣̎̈́͐͐͂̄͜͜n̵̢̢̨̢̛̥̥̝̝̳̬̯͍̠̖̞͕̺͔̩͕͚̞͖̰̣̯̹͍̩̾͑͌̎̇̄͑̌̐͛̓̇̚̚͘̕͝͠͠ͅ!̴̨̲̺̬̺̤͙̞̺̬̠̯̞͉̩͓͖̻̤͔͇͇̲̼̥͚̪͖͍̃͑͘̚̕͜͜͝͝ͅͅ
Hahahahahaha I literally can't see your comment because of the Zalgo text and it is magnificent
Edit: i take it back it sucks. :(
l̶o̵l̸ ̶s̷o̶r̷r̶y̶ ̸b̷r̶o̸
Wait now I'm confused. Are you Zalgo? I'm looking for a guy named Zalgo. He said he would get me and my friends in this joing.
If people are startled by this try the button view source
the hwat?
I am on Jerboa and there is a button that says view source and this is what I get:

Cartwright but yet so Cartwrong.

In his house at R’lyeh, wide awake Cthulhu waits doomscrolling.