Yes. Some people are just assholes and don't care what they say or do. Online anonymity let's people who are too afraid of consequences (in real life) be assholes too.
this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
44 points (95.8% liked)
No Stupid Questions
46599 readers
497 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Online anonymity also let's people forget that the people they're being assholes too have real feelings. It's not just retaliation that stops them. Most of us really don't want to hurt someone, but some need a reminder that online folks are just as real.
A similar phenomenon happens with road rage
Yes, much worse, there are racists lynchings, wars, genocide, all of human history is littered with atrocities that make online comments seam like minor disagreements.
Anyone who thinks people aren't as shitty irl clearly haven't worked in customer-facing roles, e.g. restaurants, retail, or support.
Or 911 call taking. o.m.g., Karen, could you be more racist.
This.
It's worse in real life, because it's personal. You will experience the absolute depth of human cruelty from the people you love the most.
I work in retail. Yes. Yes they are. Worse even. So much worse.
They can, but it is less likely. I generally find work interactions are nicer if the interactions are in person than over written text.
Filters are generally stronger when paychecks are involved. That said, there are definitely people who don't trust others they've only met virtually. On the flip side I've found people who I've met in person are then more apt to share their more extreme views with me online even in a work setting. It is a fascinating psychological and sociological phenomenon.
I'm talking about at work.
Yeah, I should have specified "people" in this context are coworkers. So, on the same page.
People are utterly totally different in anonymous online comunities, sometimes in a very good way and often in a very bad way.
In the Us a similar thing happens when they get behind the wheel of a car.
Yes. Mean people existed before the Internet, after all.
People can stab you to death irl, not online
I'm sure the tech bros are working on that one.
In my own experience, the internet is best for shocking, short-term nastiness. I’ve rarely met anyone in person who was quite as obnoxious or annoying as a particularly bad hit-and-run online troll.
IRL contact is still the “best” for deeply hurtful, damaging, long-term cruelty.
As someone who has worked in customer service, the food industry, and healthcare, yes. They can be just as bad irl.
Some people actually be toxic irl and have a false persona of a "good person" on their online (real name) accounts
Yes, but very few and I think they might have personality disorders.
Only the Dutch.
What, someone stole your bitterbal?
I just meant, they are exactly as mean online as they are in real life, it's not that they're particularly mean just direct and no filter so less of a difference.
I'm convinced the whole Dutch directness thing is just a marketing ploy to put a positive spin on their poor communication and apathy.
Remembering my childhood...yeah. yeah they can be just little jerks. They became quieter jerks whenever I kicked them in the shins with my little cowboy boots.
Whenever I see someone being unnecessarily a cunt online. I always accuse them of probably not speaking like this to me if we were face to face.
Tbh, I've caught myself asking myself, would I have said this to them if we were face to face?
There are unpleasant people in real life too, yes. Most online trolls will put a mask on their assholerly in real life because there are more likely consequences but enough act that way regardless. Protesting humanitarian marches, arguing for the death of people different than them, etc. The existence of neonazi groups and the global pedophile/rape and murder cabal noted in the Epstein files is really all the proof you need.
They can be. Think of the incidents like that lady calling little kids racial slurs (then getting a fat check from fund raising), or how some people act in customer service situations. Or I mean, random assaults and shootings. Online can give anyone anonymity, which is definitely often abused, but some people feel that way in public surrounded by people they don’t know.
I’d add that there are some people who, when interacting with them online, we really didn’t get along. But it was very different meeting them in person. I’ve had the opposite be true as well, where I thought I would really like someone I was getting to know from an online community, and then really didn’t hit it off with them in person. So, that’s not as far as being horrible or toxic, but just that I have experienced people seem really different in either circumstance.
Have you not been paying attention to political news lately?
Ideally, not without getting a smack in the teeth.
Yes, of course.
People tend to be less mean irl. Either because they are likely to have to deal with you again or because they are afraid to be punched in the face.
But there are mean people IRL too.
Oh ive met some people where ive thought "fuck this is it". I mean, history is filled with those people, whether they are seen as good or bad
Worse, even! At least online they can't physically hurt you.
Yes, people who have completely shaped themselves based on the internet (zoomers)
I think tha's what made early internet nice and new internet bad - early internet is people who are used to politeness and being normal using the internet as a tool ot be more sociable, new internet is people with fried dopamine receptors who are used to porn, gore and bullying and get points for saying shocking things.
Nope. There have always been assholes, online and in real life. This is not a generational problem.
Yeah but i interpret the question as "is there anyone mean in the same way and to the same extent as online trolls/cyberbullies."
There are, for instance, people who replicate the methods of cyberbullying in real life. Guess that's why gaslighting is such a popular term now.
Rarely do people have the time to be crafty in direct conversation, and don't want to be perceived as assholes. That's why they do it online.