Marx proved "sitting is the new smoking" in a time when smoking was still popular so I'm gonna go with Engels on this one.
this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2026
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We should do a 90’s era Discovery-esque show where we have pseudo experts talk about weapons, stances, body armor, and then do some real shitty CGI enactments of a fight..
DEADLIEST WARRIOR! That show was my jam as a goofy college kid. Shoutout to the one episode which had the Russian Spetsnaz win against a green beret.
Engels. Marx was a slob
Marx was a hooligan in his youth, roaming around the streets of Germany with his little gang of neer-do-wells, breaking shit and fighting.
Engels was the son of a factory owner.
Marx was a quirked up white boy so he knew how to fight.
Engels would just stop paying for Marx to research and write and therefore win by default
Lets assume Engels finally had it with Marxs shit and the situation escalated . They are now fighting. ROUND 1
Engels just grabs Marx by the beard and also wins