"Your little johnson going frrrtpppt! cost us the race by generating drag that made us 1/100th of a second slower! God damn it, Hans, I told you to tuck properly!"
this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2026
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I'm really questioning whether I'm reading a parody story right now. I know Ars Technica is not a parody publication. What is satire anymore?
I'm ready for the athletes to all hold press conferences to insist they did it for competitive advantage and not insecurity