this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
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The Onion

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Conservative Men Use Empty Melania Theaters for Grindr Hookups (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 months ago by DeltronZero@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

They would never be this clever

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I definitely believe this could be happening

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 10 points 2 months ago

I hear they try to sync cuming in the theater to when she says "It's Morbin' Time!"

[–] Screen_Shatter@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well I just got onioned. Thats hilarious and I wouldnt be surprised if it was still true.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Gay chuds:

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I thought this was a real headline.

[–] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 4 points 2 months ago

I'm not convinced it isn't.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Once again onion your stories are totally believable.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

If you cum in the theater, please make sure there's someone to swallow everything so the theater staff doesn't have to clean up a mess.