this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2026
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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 44 points 2 months ago

We’ve updated our Standard Air plan to 15% oxygen. If you would like the 21% oxygen blend, you can now upgrade to the Premium Air plan, which also includes one free glass of water per month.

[–] killea@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

No parody is far enough from reality anymore.

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't worry, the code to open it is just 1-2-3-4-5.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Incredible! I have the same combination on my Chastity belt!

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

You gotta upgrade to a virgin alarm.

[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Here I am counting my breaths to see if I could get away with the free tier

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 4 points 2 months ago

I immediately questioned myself on it too but I think that it ignores me doing anything physically taxing.

[–] zd9@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

SUSH don't give them ideas

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

A question I am yet to see satisfactorily answered: Why would a corporation want to show ads to someone who cannot afford their product?

[–] Goretantath@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Really weird that they continue to do this to this day. So many ads that do nothing but waste poor peoples time.

[–] Randomocity@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

The hope is that instead of buying air you buy the products and continue to watch ads

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 4 points 2 months ago

There's a Black Mirror episode like that.

[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

An actual plot point in Dungeon Crawler Carl

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 2 points 2 months ago

Darn it, I really need to read that book.

[–] sefra1@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

Dot and Bubble

[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 2 points 2 months ago

honestly, don't give them too many ideas.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

ah yes, government advertising.

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

It won't be direct government advertising, it'll be whatever mega-corp they outsource this to that refuses to make sure the ads are scam free and sfw.

Also expect 100% up time for the ad service, but the breaths may range 0 to 15 per minute depending on how many people are using the service at once.