My true self seems to only exist on the internet. I want to be me in meat space, too, but I just lock up most of the time and become completely non-verbal all the while I am aware of it and screaming inside my head to just do this, or say that the way I would on a comment or a chat room.
I applaud your self-control. My true self cannot be contained HAHAHAHAHA
Self-control? No... This is mental illness. And it sucks. :(
I have similar experiences with wanting to desperately be part of conversations, but not being able to expel the words.
Have you looked into selective mutism? Or being a highly sensetive person?
That or Autism (which lends to Selective Mutism). The actual neurodivergency, not the internet's/4chan's idea of it. It's not always as visible and obvious as people think. People can go through their whole lives not knowing due to it impacting them as a series of miscellaneous, tangentially related difficulties and never actually finding out about how it affects your life.
The silly version is cooler anyway
Was gonna say, silly is cool and can be very mysterious
[._.]
Y'all would be weirded out if you saw how silly I became with my girlfriend!!
... Giggiddy?
I wear colourful Hawaii shirts to balance out my bleak and anemic personality.
The world needs more silly.
It comes with age ... when you are young, you do things to impress others ... when you get a bit older, you do things to look respectable ... when you get a lot older and death is getting closer, you don't care anymore and say and do whatever you like
Command accepted.
I have a hard time accepting this isn't secretly Allie from Hyperbole and a Half drawing these
Yeah those eyes have big simple dog energy
Now that you mention it!
Let out silly self!!
Being mysterious and cool and silly.
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