this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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In the last year or so I started to see so many people of my age that have done truly incredible things and still doing more.
For the vast majority of my life my only goals were gettimg academic satisfaction and doing unproductive stuff in the free time to get temporary pleasure. No end goal whatsoever.
I kind of don't know what I've been doing in the last 17 years while someone gets a patent on solar systems, other invents a new recyclable plastic, and another found a successful startup. I mean, they all find what they're supposed to be doing with their lives and excel in them.
I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people. Yet I don't like the way the things are and I can't do anything but envy those people.
Anyone with experience in this regard? How did you deal with this? Did you eventually "pace up" with these people or was it too late or an unattainable goal?
Edit: Whoops, I didn't expect so many replies! Thanks, I'll look into them all

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[–] YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Maybe I am the wrong person to answer, but no. I've had one hell of a life so far. I worked in television, I interned for the Walt Disney Company, I served in the military, and as a result, traveled the world and lived in Europe. I even was a part of the convoy that recused Joe Biden in Afghanistan (my role was minor but I was there). All of that started because I didn't want to stay in my hometown and left to pursue something much more interesting.

[–] required@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

You seem to have figured it out at least. Happy for you!

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

TLDR - focus more on what you have control over

I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people

Same.

How did you deal with this?

One thing that helps is trying to avoid that kind of information, whenever possible. The less you know about something that bothers you, the less it ends up bothering you. Still on that page, another thing that kind of helps me deal with it is knowing that a good portion of those "30 under 30" from Forbes might be grifts or scams, like Elizabeth Holmes, Sam Bankman Fraud and Charlie Javice.

Another thing that helps me cope is knowing that this whole pressure for overachieving is cultural poison. It's the same shit those NLP quantic coaches peddle, a way to blame YOU for not having an amazing life, full of riches and recognition, because YOU didn't try hard enough. An easy, culturally acceptable way to look down on people with deadend jobs or unemployed.

I don’t like the way the things are

Me neither and, like you, I don't have the means to change shit. Apes alone weak. But, like the TLDR, you have to focus more on what you CAN do, even if small and irrelevant. That's still on you and that's your part.

The funny thing is that the older I get, the more I understand why huge communities can make everyone feel so lonely. You live somewhere close to, say, 20 families, but barely know 2, despite being physically close to where they sleep. How weird is that? All those closed doors and passing sights create a huge disconnect with people that you should care about, because they're so close to where you live that their lives can directly affect yours.

[–] required@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

One thing that helps is trying to avoid that kind of information, whenever possible. The less you know about something that bothers you, the less it ends up bothering you

I feel like I won't be able to improve unless I see people better than me

[–] OpenStars@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago

Remember to find a balance. You might have been doing the right things for the wrong reasons. Questioning is good...

[–] june@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I grew up evangelical, and I definitely wasted my young years not living life because of it.

[–] ChatGPT@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Only compare yourself to yourself if you’re doing better than you were a month ago, year or even decade you’re going the right way. Everyone has skeletons in their closet to you rarely get to see medical issues, spouse cheating, debt up to their eyeballs all this can be hidden for a long time.

[–] SighBapanada@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago

Yea but I go easier on myself these days as I see it now as part of a larger systemic problem. Living in suburbs, having social anxiety, struggling with toxic family issues, etc. It all played a part in my escapism into video games and unproductive time sinks. I forgive myself for the past and try to do better today. It's about making the most of the opportunities that are given to you, cheesy as it sounds.

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sounds like you might have depression, maybe try looking into that. Good luck with everything!

[–] required@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Got my third diagnosis 😭
Ok comparison is bad but what in this thread even makes you think I might be depressed? I'm just harsh with my past and I believe I'm rightful to do so, and overwhelmed a bit about my life overall. Like, I'm still high-functioning, I'm motivated enough to carry out challenging stuff daily
I used to be depressed though, on a "high" level. I think I got over it by now

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 1 points 2 years ago

It's the whole vibe of your response - the whole feeling of helplessness is often associated with depression, being overwhelmed by life is also a very frequent symptom of depression.

Being high-functioning and motivated to carry out with life doesn't mean you're not depressed.

I'm not saying you are depressed, that can't be diagnosed over few simple comments, I'm just saying you sound like you might be depressed and it might be good to go check with a professional if that's the case.

[–] ArugulaZ@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

Kind of. I've amassed a fair amount of knowledge over the span of this life I'm over halfway through, but very little in the way of accomplishments. (Not counting the achievements in video games.)

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