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[-] NettoHikari@social.fossware.space 184 points 1 year ago

As a dad, I think about this fact so much.

I still feel just like a kid with no clue about everything, but I still have to do stuff, because I'm responsible for my own kids now.

[-] RQG@lemmy.world 88 points 1 year ago

I feel the same way often. And the kids look up to me with the absolute confidence and trust that their dad knows what he's doing and will know what to do when they have trouble. I know that's how it should be so they can be children. But at the same time I know it's just not true and I'm just winging it.

[-] unerds@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

my kids have a pretty good grasp that i'm also just finding my way in the world, and that it's okay.

i feel like, anyone who comes across as though they have it all figured out are likely just unaware that the catalyst that brings it all crashing down is never really THAT far away.

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[-] constantokra@lemmy.one 16 points 1 year ago

You need to be a little more generous to yourself, friend. Compared to a kid, you do know what you're doing, and thankfully kid troubles are mostly not a big deal, so you probably will know what to do. From a certain point of view.

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[-] BornVolcano@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Ngl wing it with confidence and reassurance and when they grow up it'll be even more impressive

[-] lime_red@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Was out with my daughter and her friend, and we found a wallet on the ground. The friend picked it up and immediately handed it to me, and now I'm 'what am I meant to do with it?'. But only in my head, because I'm the grown up who just can deal with everything.

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[-] BorgDrone@lemmy.one 28 points 1 year ago

That’s why I think people shouldn’t have kids until they have at least a couple of hundred years of life experience.

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[-] 70ms@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm a mom whose kids are all grown, and I still feel it to this day. 😂

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[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 140 points 1 year ago

Oh my god this is so true.

I recently heard “Another Day in Paradise” by Phil Collins, which I hadn’t heard since the 80s when I was a kid. It immediately brought back memories of being at home and Mom playing that song a lot, with just the two of us in the house, after Dad left.

Looking back at those memories through my adult eyes (I have a nearly-photographic memory and can vividly remember even ancient memories as if I’m still there), I can see my mom’s sadness and loneliness.

And then I realize she was my age. She had a little five year old boy. She was alone, unsure what to do. Putting on a smiling face not just for me but for herself too, cleaning the house with that song blasting. Like, I can watch the memories like video and I can see the heartache I couldn’t see back then.

I just want to go back in time, wrap my arms around her, and hold her tight.

[-] calvin@lemmy.todayyoutomorrow.me 31 points 1 year ago

These are the comments that make Lemmy great.

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[-] executive_chicken@lemmy.world 101 points 1 year ago

The worst thing is growing up and seeing them less and less to the point where once you do end up seeing them, they look WAY older than your mental image of them. Cherish your parents while you have them

[-] 70ms@lemmy.world 65 points 1 year ago

My mom will be 89 in a couple of months and it's so hard to watch her get so frail when her mind is still so sharp. I recently started recording her stories, like how she became a Univac programmer in the 60's. I cherish every minute because I hear the clock ticking and it's SO loud and never goes away. I'm going to miss my mom so much. It's like my heart's already breaking under the weight of losing her.

[-] bfr0@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

Sounds like you're kind of grieving in advance, which is natural and healthy so long as you channel it into something constructive like you are.

Everyone's parents will leave, yours is the best case scenario.

[-] lodion@aussie.zone 13 points 1 year ago

Your mum was a programmer in the 60s? She must be incredibly in so many ways!

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[-] RCKLSSBNDN@lemmy.world 59 points 1 year ago

When you are a grown up you don't realize you are watching your parents die.

[-] stiephel@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

I definitely started to see my parents decline in my early 20s. They're still going, but age is coming for them fast.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 18 points 1 year ago

Even when my mother was in a hospital bed we’d brought into the house, thin like a toothpick, I was still wondering what her odds of survival were. It’s so easy to be in denial. Then one moment she just stopped breathing and that was it.

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[-] nx2@feddit.de 11 points 1 year ago

Man you didn't have to say that.. :(

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[-] DAC_Protogen@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It was really weird for me to have some honest talks with my parents once I was well into adulthood. It took me way too long to realize they are people with their own problems to solve and a life and preferences, a personal history and all that. It's weird how you tend to see your parents differently from other people until they deem you old enough to open up.

[-] lungdart@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 year ago

My parents died when I was young. Seeing other people's adult relationships with their parents is so foreign to me. My parents are frozen in time in my memories, and I can't imagine what their lives were really like or what kind of People they were.

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[-] ComfortablyGlum@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 year ago

I always thought the universe did a nasty by making the ideal breeding age for humans to be when it really is one of the worst times mentally/emotionally. 20 or so yrs later when more experience (and hopefully wisdom) has been gained, the eggs are shrivelling and the bullets are misfiring.

[-] Tweed1911@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago

This makes me sad. I just realized that I could be part of it but I spent most time away drinking, partying or playing vidya, and not caring

[-] FightMilk@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

If you really feel like getting sentimental, check out this Wait But Why, specifically the “Relationships” section. There’s also this awesome Kurzgesagt video which was inspired by it.

[-] WeirderMelonz@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Don’t watch that video if you have to focus on something else in the next hour. That shit fucked me up.

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[-] Random_user@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

Please don't just start posting the top 100 shower thoughts from reddit.

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[-] NABDad@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago

My dad didn't grow up. He just got older.

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[-] MiddleWeigh@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It was weird for me when I was finally older than my parents when they had me, and I was still a barely functioning human being. Props to you, mom and dad. You did the best you could and I appreciate that you brought me into this world (most days).

[-] unwinagainstable@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

It’s hitting me kind of hard watching my folks in their mid-60s. Their health is starting to slip a little bit in small but noticeable ways. I never really saw it until recently

[-] nerin@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

I just spent the last 2 hours before bed playing Minecraft with my 7 and 5 year old and I ate chicken nuggets for dinner... I may never grow up....

[-] lodion@aussie.zone 10 points 1 year ago

Mate, that sounds like an awesome night. I'd call that a win!

[-] BobosGonnaeGetYe6@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

So is this community just going through Reddit and verbatim reposting old threads?

[-] gnarly@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

This place needs content, can't have your cake and eat it too. Just unfollow the reddit sub if you don't want to see it.

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[-] Kerred@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Just wait until the bots get here, hoo boy.

Followed by ad companies making shower thoughts about their products.

Followed by Propaganda accounts having shower thoughts not about Tiannamen Square.

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[-] howrar@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago

Reddit front page was also a bunch of old Reddit threads/memes getting reposted. Feels just like home.

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[-] TotesTrash@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

This one hits home. One day you just start seeing your parent/guardian as a frail old person who needs your assistance and love (obvs if it was a positive relationship). It makes me feel important but it also scare me knowing we’re reaching the end. I know, no one has life guaranteed but you know, growing older just pushes you towards that end anyway.

[-] d00phy@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

I hit me hard when i did the math and realized how old my grandparents were when I was a kid.

[-] sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Middle aged man baby with a lovely wife with aspirations of having a child here reporting in. Not having read any comments.. this hits hard and goddamn you OP 😖

[-] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

As a newish parent, this resonates with me. I'm flying by the seat of my fuckin pants over here.

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[-] HandwovenConsensus@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago

Because society and our parents themselves gaslight us into thinking they're perfect. It kind of annoys me that not seeing one's parents as flawed human beings is treated as a failure of the child. I knew my parents made some bad decisions. It wasn't my idea to give them absolute power over every aspect of my life.Yeah, they're flawed human beings like me, but I'm the one who suffered because they wouldn't admit to their flaws and reconsider their decisions. It wasn't me who couldn't tell they weren't perfect.

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[-] dimlo@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

when we had our first child, we are borderline bankrupt , our bank account has only two digit numbers, we are out of work, relying on family to provide us food. Eleven years later with lots of hard work we have bought our first home. I am forever thankful to the people who helped us get us through

[-] beatlepus@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

And when you are an adult you could still see the kid side in you parents.

[-] Hazdaz@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Yeah seriously. If you are in your 20s now, you just have no idea. As you get older you realize how accurate this statement is. My parents are getting really old and it's crazy to think that I am there age now.

[-] O4PetesSake@lemmy.one 10 points 1 year ago

Brilliant! I sure was child when I was raising mine but I really didn’t think of my own parents like. I have to mull this over

[-] dudebro@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

If they have kids in their 20s, yes.

My mom had me when she was 40 and I feel better off for it.

[-] dogbutt@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

… and now I’m kind of sad.

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this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
1558 points (98.4% liked)

Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The best ones are thoughts that many people can relate to and they find something funny or interesting in regular stuff.

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