Notice when you are clenching your teeth and tensing your muscles when you are angry.
Then just relax all your muscles.
this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
35 points (97.3% liked)
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Problems are like compound interest. You're going to deal with them sooner or later but if you do it later, it costs more. Deal with them sooner.
not being nice to cats. So many people expect them to act like dogs then get hurt and say they hate cats.
It's honestly a red flag for me if someone says they hate cats because that means they can't respect boundaries.
also,, being a Republican.
I love cats and I don't respect their boundaries. No cat butts will be left unpat, you furry reaper of doom
I get what you mean but I suppose we both at least know what we're getting into and respect the consequences of talking shit.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately actually; I think I'm just naturally someone who needs spicy relationships. I've had people call me toxic but tbh my husband now that I've been with for five years total doesn't feel that way because he gives just as good as he gets. You can't go into the restaurant and order the 5 alarm chili then get mad at the cook. You ordered it; either eat the damn thing or admit you were wrong and if that was too hard for you maybe ya bitchass should order a mild next bout (but damn if the spice wasn't just 🧑🍳🤌 yesterday morning...).
I have a cat that I'll bother sometimes (I want the beans) but for the most part she seeks out the interactions (I mesh well with highly social cats so they're the ones the cat distribution system typically sends me). She'll let me know when she's done.
footnote
I've also been rewatching Inuyasha lately and like. First of all they're teenagers in a horrible situation (not exactly relationship goals to begin with) but also anybody who thinks hojo would be better for kagome has no idea what they're talking about. Kagome would skin hojo and devour his liver. They are not functioning on the same wavelength at all. The real adult pairing is Sessh/Kagura and if she'd lived we could have avoided like. ALL of the Sessh/Rin weirdness.
I mean, I don't like cats, but they love me. I think it's because I ignore them. Not sure why me not liking cat smell is a red flag
OP didn't say "dislike cats", they said "not being nice to them."
If you are actually mean to them, I'd say that is a red flag. But ignoring them is fair.
Same, cats are fine. Them crapping in my garden not so much. Cleaning a litterbox... not happening.
you are the very rare kind of good cat hater
I've been told I don't hate dogs, because I treat them kindly but mostly try to ignore them. I find dogs incredibly annoying, but it's not their fault and there is no reason they should suffer for my opinions.
Treating other people like dirt.
The person you treat like crap today may just be the person choosing whether to save your ass tomorrow.
Not leaving margin for error.
E.g. catch the bus/train before the one you need to. So, when it's late or canceled there's still the next one.
E.g. leave slightly earlier than needed in case the traffic is bad.
Another frequent transit user here. When people complain that I'm early for something, I like to tell them that, since I ride transit, my choices are to be early or late, but I can't choose to be on time. 😅
Can you teach my wife this? She leaves the house at 07:23 in the morning, because she'll arrive at work with a minute to spare. No matter if she wakes up at 05:30, she'll still run around like a headless chicken at 07:20 to get everything ready. It must be so stressful.
Maybe she's learned from Ruter or AtB how to plan her commute.
She drives... No public transport where we live.
She should try my method.
Plan to have slightly later in case traffic is good, and then actually have just after work starts.
Redundancy is King!
Being an asshole to someone you love because you didn’t take a beat to calm down after something stressful.
Yeah it's a habit that you either stop because you've learned better or because you drove them away. But it's hard and it's easy to just act emotionally
Or simply to someone who didn't deserve it... Might be the main issue amongst people, ever, and if it's not it is at least for me. I've had to learn to regulate myself so much and I still feel like I have a long way to go, lol. 🥲
You're not alone. This is pretty much a universal struggle.
whistles "El Condor Pasa"
This is huge. With a couple of kids, a spouse, and everyday responsibilities, it's easy to get stressed and be a dick.
I find it takes conscious effort to switch away from whatever is under my skin to deal appropriately with the folks I love.
Perfect age for this fussing & fighting--
--
John Sebastian, what a day for a daydream, genius again.