this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
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Shitty Life Pro Tip

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To a place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. This Community is welcome to anything shitty pro-tip related, such as memes, discussing the best shitty tip, and much more.

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53
SLPT: Got a porch pirate problem this holiday season? Fill an Amazon box up with dog poo and leave it out. (dubvee.org)
submitted 3 days ago by ptz@dubvee.org to c/shittylifeprotips@lemmy.world
16 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 16 comments
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[–] trendingnongamer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

this is funny to think about but the thing about porch pirates is that they know where you live and they aren't afraid to ruin your day

edit: and now they have an Amazon box filled with dog poo

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

This is why I much prefer lying in wait with the garden hose.

[–] NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.com 7 points 3 days ago

Depends on who it is. Some of them are doing this to multiple houses in a day and if you remove the shipping label, they don’t have an exact idea which package was the one that contained the shit.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

waits on the porch in the rocking chair with a shotgun at the ready

[–] confusedwiseman@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 days ago

If you do this use the neighbors address you don’t like for when it inevitably gets returned.

[–] kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I like to send a mail bomb to myself, but whatever works, I guess

(for legal reasons, this comment is a joke)

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Glitter bomb. Mail glitter bomb.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Gary Glitter?

[–] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 4 points 3 days ago

Seems like a good way to receive a retaliatory poo?

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Can it be my poo?

[–] fujiwood@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (2 children)

How about bed bugs, flees and cockroaches instead?

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Hornets?

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Just put a H on the box, so you remember.

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

Oh hello eBay seller!