A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
Encouraged:
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
Nothing surprising in there for me (although I've met some people who would benefit from reading it...) but then I started reading it from the perspective of self-talk.
I know I wouldn't accuse someone with adhd of "always overreacting" and I'd never tell them "you'd have so much potential if you just try harder.” But I wonder how often I think that to myself, and how little good it does...
“Everybody struggles with that.”
This is why I don’t discuss my ADHD with my partner.
My reply to this is;
“Everyone goes to the bathroom a few times a day, but if you’re going 100 times a day I think everyone would agree you should see a doctor about that.”
It is not about the action itself but the volume in which that action occurs.
“He has such potential if he would just apply himself “ Every teacher to my mom
Ouch. That hits home.
“Are you sure? You don’t look like you have ADHD.”
I want to know what these people think ADHD looks like. Same with Autism. MFer what do you think that looks like?
Never had anyone tell me this, I very clearly have ADHD
Most people think adhd is just kids running around screaming constantly
Not having good time awareness was my big issue growing up and for a significant part of adulthood. I was always losing track of time and showing up late for just about everything. People often suggested that I set an alarm to remind me. I didn't know how to explain to them that if two alarms wasn't enough, how would setting more do any good? (also those alarms needed to be maintained and adjusted, which added to the stress.)
After my diagnosis I made two significant changes. First, I became self-employed. That eliminated the time clock issue. And since I could set my own schedule, it was much harder to actually be late. Second, I decided that I would not longer be upset with myself for being late for appointments. If I was late, that was something I could not go back and fix therefore it wasn't worth getting upset about.
This had a dramatic effect on my ability to arrive on time. Almost overnight I was almost never late for anything and my stress level about it went down to almost nothing.
I still get lose track of time on occasion. I can begin work on a project in the morning and suddenly realize that it is no longer daytime and several hours have gone by. But now I also have a dog and he reminds me to stop and take a break every two or three hours.
"Why are you so lazy/clumsy?"
Basically any time I forgot something, misremembered an instruction, or didn't read my mum's mind to divine what she specifically wanted done, to her satisfaction.
Why yes, I do enjoy just crashing into things for fun, or making an awful racket/mess because I accidentally hit the table with my cup.
Looking back at my young, un-diagnosed self, I'd say "If you would just apply yourself" is my absolute fucking favorite.
This might be a hot take, but in my opinion the alternatives in this article aren’t any better.