this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Americans who champion the right to bear arms were shocked Wednesday as controversial commentator Charlie Kirk was shot and killed, as opposed to the ordinarily acceptable trend of mass shootings in schools.

Dale Shaw, an investment advisor from Salt Lake City, says the event has cast a shadow over his activism supporting Americans’ right to bear arms even if it leads to the most per capita school shootings of any nation on the planet.

“The Second Amendment is the foundation of American liberty,” he said. “With an armed populace I know that the occasional tragedy can occur, as it does, almost literally, every day in our nation’s schools. But Charlie is someone I actually cared about.” [...]

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[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 43 points 3 weeks ago

This isn't even satire anymore. This is factual.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 38 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

It's ok, Dale. Apparently therewas a school shooting on the same day.

[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 3 weeks ago

Nature is healing already!

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

Don't you tease poor Dale like that, you meanie.
Now you go give him the details of the school shooting so he can smile again, RIGHT NOW, or so help me you'll regret it!!!!!

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

Good ol statistics.

[–] rapchee@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

tbf it's not "instead", it's "also"

[–] waldo_was_here@piefed.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

He's dead,move on, bibi killed 400000 people in Gaza

[–] SalamenceFury@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Nah, this is bad satire. The second amendment worked as intended here. You use it to whack tyrants and their minions, and this was a success.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 12 points 3 weeks ago

The satire is pretty on point, as it's pretty obvious that the lives of some people are weighed more heavily than those of innocent children.

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 weeks ago

It's good satire. It's not making fun of the assassin for doing the killing, it's making fun of the hypocrisy of the conservative outrage farm that is trying to milk this as a tragedy.