Hi everyone, this is my first time turning to the LEMMY universe for advice. I hope it helps.
I'm a 19-year-old guy studying to become a cyber-web programmer. The girl in question is 20. I'm not the type to openly share my feelings, and I'm a bit shy when it comes to expressing them.
A little over a month ago, I started working as an operator with a 2/2 schedule from 10:00 to 22:00. For the first week, I was always leaving work alone. Then, one day at the metro station near our office, I ran into two coworkers (this girl and her friend). We chatted and found out that we all finished our shifts at the same time. So we decided to start leaving together. The walk from work to the metro and the ride across a few stations takes about 30 minutes.
For the first couple of days, it was the three of us—me, her, and her friend. Then her friend switched shifts, and for the past several days, it’s just been the two of us. We've had time to talk about many things—what she wants to become, what she studied, her hobbies, what games she plays, and a bit about me too. She studied to be a tour guide and graduated this year. She told me about the places she’s been, how she enjoys drawing, and how she usually plays games at home after work (both on the phone and computer).
She once asked me why I wasn’t doing anything else during work—she finds it weird to just focus on work. I told her that I write code, make programs and bots for myself, and that I don’t really play games—only chess. I also read articles and books. She laughed and said, “Who even reads books these days?” But later admitted that it’s a good habit.
We shared our playlists. She likes the band Skillet, while I’m into Radiohead and Scorpions. We exchanged our favorite songs. When I shared my all-time favorite—"Creep" by Radiohead—she told me her dad used to play that song loudly all the time (he's still alive, by the way).
Over the past few weeks, she’s found her way into my heart. I’ve grown fond of her.
Lately, for the past 2-3 days, she’s started texting me 10-15 minutes before our shift ends, saying things like “We’re leaving together, right?” or “You there? Shift ends at 22:00.”
I had once told her she had beautiful eyes and pupils, and she joked, “Eyes of an alcoholic 😅.” This morning, I told her again that she had beautiful eyes and a cute nose.
I really enjoy walking with her after work, listening to her stories. I can just stare into her eyes and listen without interrupting. I wait through my entire 12-hour shift just to spend 30 minutes with her. Last time, she even reached out her hand for me to hold and said “See you tomorrow.”
But I don’t think she feels the same way. She probably just sees me as a friend. There are only two more days left for us to leave work together, because after that she’ll be working remotely (turns out she applied for remote work before I joined the company).
I’ve been wondering whether I should tell her that I like her or not. I can’t make up my mind. I’m shy by nature, and I’m scared that if I confess, I’ll get rejected. And if I do, I don’t know what happens next.
I'd really appreciate any advice. Thanks for reading. This is my first big post.