Trans

I think i may have successfully formed a good habit for the first time in.... ever?

I've been going to the gym, regularly, 3 days a week, for a couple weeks now. Not at like, a specific time of day, but it is getting done. This week I'm gonna start adding some weights after the 30 minutes of cardio!

Leg day related machines here i come! i will surely come to regret that in the short term (jk i used to love leg day)

I still haven't managed to get a job and it's wearing on me more every day. I'm living with my parents currently and they refuse to use my name/pronouns, they refuse to even try. I haven't been able to start hormones, my dysphoria is bad and I feel like no one takes it seriously. I'm spiralling into depression more each day despite my meds. I don't know how to keep going. My partner supports me but he's half a world away, and most of the time seems too busy with his own life to talk to me. There aren't even any support groups around because we live in Woop Woop.

Eh. Everyone's crabby with the heat so I've had to break up too many bar fights. (Bartender). My boss especially, has been particularly chauvinistic and condescending so I stopped bringing up a dinner and beer for him (he lives above the bar). He was especially nice last night, actually complimented me in front of the patrons, and handed me $200 for all my hard work. So I made him his dinner and beer.

I swear, I teach drunks the same way I taught my 2 year olds when I was a daycare teacher. Lots of overlap.

So all around I consider it a decent week, especially since I love the heat.

A bittersweet struggle this week. I am mentally where I need to be. Voice training was fantastic, and I started laser hair removal. I have a few outfits together! My body, however, is so far behind the rest of me that it causes frustration waiting for it to catch up. I also can't start consultations for surgery until the 6 month mark because of insurance requirements. Such an archaic principle for someone who has had an absurdly long time to consider the consequence and determined it's worth it. Especially since the therapist agrees with my conclusions! Now it's just a waiting game while I try to figure out who to trust in person with my real identity.

Good, I passed few tests few failed but I'm doing good. I'm finally starting to feel like myself since my hair is growing bigger. 🩷🩷

Pretty good! I got my estrogen prescription from Planned Parenthood! It was surprisingly easy. The people there were all super nice and really good about my name and pronouns. The only downside was the “protestor” who tried to tell me about other places for healthcare “for women and men” eye roll

Now I just need to figure out how to give myself injections. Slightly nervous about that, since I’ve never done it before and don’t want to fuck up my dose.

That’ll have to wait a little while though, because I’m going on vacation with my wife’s family. Not incredibly excited about that, because while the vacation will be nice, I’m not out to any of them yet. My mother in law is nosy and starting to pry about my shaving, painted nails, long hair etc. And I know the misgendering is going to wear on me, but it’s not their fault. I’m determined to have a good relaxing time as much as possible though!

Talking to someone in times of stress is SUPER helpful! There's nothing wrong with reaching out, no matter what gender you identify as! We want you to be successful and supported. Nobody said you had to do this alone.

Spent a very lovely week with my remote partners, vending handcrafted arts at a local market festival and then nipping off to Manchester for Pride. Got lots of compliments on my "Save a horse, ride a moustache" crop top as well as for my fancy moustache. =D