this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2025
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memes

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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

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[–] gex@lemmy.world 233 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Then 3 years later

Brooks, Herman and Anderson Law firm - Bonto data privacy class action lawsuit

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 76 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Get your .0012¢ for a $7 processing fee!

[–] pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That hasn't been my experience. My portion of the settlement is usually about $100.00. it's insulting, but it still spends.

[–] datavoid@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 week ago

I'm still waiting for my $13 from fuckerberg

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

bonto has settled and agreed to provide one year of credit monitoring

[–] ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 118 points 1 week ago (4 children)

BONTO! was sooo good. Like it really improved the Slorpiness.

[–] radiohead37@lemmynsfw.com 50 points 1 week ago

No way! BONTO! was just the enshitfication of Slorp by a private equity firm.

[–] CuriousRefugee@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

<unwarranted rage No way, BONTO! sucked. You couldn't even Slorp your entire friends list anymore, and they added all of those BONTOgrams for no reason. We disagree on a topic, so I despise you now and your entire genetic line. </rage

But you should really try NeWSlarP, a FLOSS fork of Slorp by the original developer that brings back both SlorpTokens and Schlarpmänner!

[–] revv@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 week ago (3 children)

<unwarranted rage No way...

... </rage

This is the wildest syntax I've ever seen! At first, I thought it was unparsable nonsense. Then I realized that your tags are capital-letter-terminated. Is this from a language I don't know or have you unwittingly cooked up a piece of a cursed programming language? If the latter, I propose Slorp as its name.

[–] four@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Closing > for the tag is left as an exercise for the reader.
unwarranted is a property of the rage tag (the properties are declared before the tag name)

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[–] victorz@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 103 points 1 week ago (2 children)

BONTO! will be deleting your data soon

Log into BONTO! to save your data

BONTO! will be deleting your data soon

BONTO! will be deleting your data soon

BONTO! has archived your data

[–] OCATMBBL@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago

Deleting your data for you. Their copy is theirs.

[–] Sixtyforce@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago

Photobucket moment.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 59 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

Subject: your billing statement is now available

Body: Log on to our website because we couldn't possibly JUST FUCKING TELL YOU HOW MUCH ELECTRICITY OR WHATEVER YOU USED THIS MONTH DIRECTLY IN THE E-MAIL; no, we've got to play fucking games and make you do extra work and stop you from automatically having a record of your shit without having to deliberately log on to the platform we control and download them individually with 30 seconds worth of clicking between each one.

WTF is even the point of the email if there's NO USEFUL INFORMATION IN IT?!

[–] MU5T4N6@feddit.org 44 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It's annoying, but from a data security point of view it makes sense, personal information like that is more secure behind the login on their website than in an e-mail in plain text.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That should be my choice, not theirs. I should at least be able to opt into having useful information directly in the email!

[–] MU5T4N6@feddit.org 13 points 1 week ago

I agree with you, but it's easier for those companies to just do one option, rather than offer user/customer choices which would create additional effort both technical on the backend and legally.

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[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 49 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

The same could be said for any form of communication, really.

I remember when phones used to be good. Now it's all

  • We have important information about your car's warranty.
  • Here's information on new solar panel installation that doesn't work with your home / location.
  • You've been selected to answer a quick 15 question survey.

I remember when mail used to be good. Now it's all

  • I'm a disgraced Nigerian prince and I need your help to protect my multi-million dollar fortune.
  • Here's all the important sales WalMart is having this week! Don't miss out!
  • Here's your electricity bill that you're enrolled in auto-pay for. No action is needed on your part, but we're sending you this 12-page summary anyway.
[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Will happen to every new medium eventually. It's inevitable under capitalism.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 10 points 1 week ago

I think a lot about a post I saw that said "you hate every piece of capitalism but refuse to connect the dots to see that picture"

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wait what? BONTO is shutting down??? Aww man...

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I only really liked it when it was Slorp. When they changed over to BONTO that's when the enshitification started. Where my Slorp homies at?

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I agree, I only stayed on BLORP for the Bgrams.

[–] BabyVi@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There's now a self-hosted alternative to BLORP that has full Bgrams support.

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[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My current personal hell is

Log in to use Splurp™️!

USERNAME: Bongo Password: Schleeb209-!AA12

An E-Mail has been sent to Bongo@bingus.gov with a link to sign in [click link] Please confirm with 2FA!

Now do this again every fucking hour on this service you use all day you fucking cow.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 18 points 1 week ago

bc work emails need to be more secure than classified war plans... for some fucking reason

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[–] sturger@sh.itjust.works 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I legit got an e-mail from Facebook telling me that I should join Facebook because “no one uses e-mail anymore”. Ummmm…..well someone must be still using e-mail and No.

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[–] piefood@feddit.online 37 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I actually love email. While yes, this post is accurate, email is the most filterable communication system that I have. Since I have my own email-server, and I know how procmail rules work, I can tightly control who is allowed to contact me, and what folders their messages go into. It also has great crowd-sourcing of known spammers, that I can pull from to help me filter out spammy IP addresses.

Every other message system only has a "report spam" button, that is dependent on the service admins, and doesn't actually stop people from sending me annoying junk-mail.

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[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Specifically make sure that the "subscribe to newsletter and offers" is NOT checked.

Get a marketing email from them within 24 hours anyway.

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[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Don't forget

  • "BONTO! is sneakily roping you into a binding private arbitration clause because they're planning to do some real shady shit that'll affect a critical mass of users!

(At the bottom of the email)

...You can still opt to use the public justice system that already exists if you disagree with this. You simply must send your disagreement in writing upon a clay tablet delivered by a specific courier to a remote P.O Box in Illinois within the next 32 business hours.

[–] SonicBlue03@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 week ago

I do miss BONTO! though. Not gonna lie.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 20 points 1 week ago

Join BONTO! plus today and experience our latest, AI enchanced premium features.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Slorp was so much better before they changed their name to Bonto. Only young people prefer Bonto, and they're idiots.

Bonto killed Slorp, Bonto is the only reason it shutdown.

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[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago

501 CONVENIENT SERVER ERROR

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 26 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Thank you for confirming that you are reachable at your listed email address! We will not contact you anymore, but we have already sold this information to our corporate sponsors, have the shittiest day imaginable!:-)

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[–] hector@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I have a mail account I only use for humans and each mail is a delightful surprise 😁

[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hello fellow human, can I have that address then

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[–] hessenjunge@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 1 week ago

They forgot the newsletters you get twice a day* (*thrice if you opted out of newsletters) and the deluge of spam when everyone at Bonto sold your email address while they were going out of business.

[–] Vinstaal0@feddit.nl 15 points 1 week ago

Mail is made so much better when using an alias system like SImpleLogin from Proton. Just create a new mail for everything (except Atlassian the idiots) and when they start doing bullshit you can terminate the email.

Enabling OTP code 2FA will also reduce the verification emails

[–] Showroom7561@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago

You missed the one about the data breach that they are still investigating, but subtly hint that your full contact details, credit card, social security number, health status, sexual orientation, bank account, and passwords were sold on the dark web.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wish you could separate the automated notification system emails from the living, breathing human sitting down to write you a message emails. Also, automated emails calling you by your name ("Hi ${name}!") should be banned.

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[–] raltoid@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Sometimes I see things like this and relate a little. Then I see the comments and wonder why more people don't have two emails.

One for random accounts/signup and one for serious accounts and human communication.

[–] phantomwise@lemmy.ml 1 points 6 days ago

I have a dozen email accounts, that way all the emails I don't read (which is ALL OF THEM) are neatly separated in different inboxes.

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