In school there was a fella named Dirty Johnny. He was always a trouble maker the teachers never liked him. One day in class the teacher is doing a thing we’re the kids raise their hands to tell a story and then say what the moral is of that story. So a girl raises her hand
The teacher says “Yes Becky, go ahead.”
Becky says “My dad works for the hatchery and one day he put 15 eggs in a basket and rode home. They all fell and broke.”
The teacher says “Now what’s the moral in that?”
Becky says “To not put all your eggs in one basket”
The teacher says “Now, that’s a good one, Maureen, yes go ahead”
Maureen says “My grandpa works for the Hatchery (Thank god for hatchery or we’d all be lost) one day he counted all his chickens that didn’t hatch and some of them ended up breaking at the end of the day.
The teacher says “Now what’s the moral of that”
Maureen says “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch”
Teacher says “Damn that’s a good one”
Then she sees Dirty Johnny with his hand up and thinks “My god, not him. I don’t want to do it but I made a oath when I became a teacher”
She says “Yes, go ahead Dirty Johnny”
Dirty Johnny stands up and starts talking “This story is about my uncle Terry, he never worked at the damn hatchery, he was in Vietnam in Danae. He was not well liked by anyone including his fellow soldiers. You may have heard of a man deserting his troop but have you ever heard of a troop abandoning a man? That’s what happened to my Uncle Terry. They left him with three bottles of scotch and some weapons. He downed the first bottle right away. So uncle Terry gets up grabs his bottles and a Glock. He walked to a town, he didn’t know if it was Charlie or one he was suppose to protect, but uncle Terry had hate in his gut, he took another drink from his bottle. So like a farmer would with hay and a scythe he started mowing everything down. First the men fell, then the women, and god damn I’m ashamed to say it but the children too. Then he felt his pants, they were wet and Uncle Terry felt shame as he pissed himself. Then he felt it again, and realized he didn’t urinate but ejaculated, and Uncle Terry felt pride were shame once was.”
The teacher says “Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with you, what’s the moral in that!?”
Johnny says “Well when Uncle Terry been drinking you don’t fuck with him”