Could have invented a new sort of torture. A barely tolerably tight mithril chain shirt and a line of children begging for hugs. Skin splitting through the mesh, gutteral cries of “hoohoohoo” spilling from behind the gag, a smattering of red painted across the subject’s arms and legs, hushed bargaining and promises as the children approach and sit upon their lap. The tradition would later come to be known as Christmas on middle earth.

Could have started the latest mithril crop top fashion.

Whenever I need to buy new pants I have a similar problem