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We talked stuff that works you up, how about things that you do to calm down? What techniques, activities, mantras, stims, etc. do you do to keep yourself comfortable and safe? Feel free to share what you'd like - and something kinda cool is that you might end up helping someone else down the line.

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[-] djidane535@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago

Listen to music when shopping or at work (especially if I am surrounded by noisy coworkers), speak out loud to myself when I am alone (I also do it to just think about anything, it’s much easier for me to sort my ideas and take decisions). Another thing I do when I feel sad is playing rhythm games, because it forces me to focus about what I am doing while listening to musics I enjoy (but I do not do it a lot now that I have a dog, I feel much better thanks to her <3).

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago

People who love animals get the healing power of them. They just lift you up with their sweetness. I used to listen to music, but I stopped at some point. I'd get an earworm and keep that sucker playing on repeat and zen out and BLAM! Chill. (Blam maybe wasn't the right word but I mean all of a sudden I'd realized how chilled out I was)

What ryhthm games? I can't play them, but my sibby plays Konami stuff. My fav is pop'n music.

[-] djidane535@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

I mainly played Project Diva for 10+ years, but now I also play Theatrythm FF. I think I would love Pop n music but never have it a try (the special controller looks so good :) )

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

Ooooo, those are the guitaroo man kinda ones with like - lines and timing right? How any of you play these is outta my head. I can sing, and I understand rhythm but translating that to this kinda stuff is just *wuh!?*

It's got a crazy variety of songs if you ever want to check it out here's a playlist of all of them apparently. I hope you get to try it someday =)!

[-] djidane535@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Yes, it takes time to get used to it, but it’s almost automatic at some point :).Thanks for the playlist, I will have a look at it ;).

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

No worries, if you wanna send a cool jam (or jams) from either game feel free to toss it here. I love fun music =)

[-] ladytaters@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Crypt of the Necrodancer on steam is a fantastic rhythm game, and you can use your own music on it. The switch version is portable, which is a plus, but there's no ability to swap your music in.

I also second Theatrhythm! Final Fantasy music is almost universally gorgeous.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

Oooo yeah, people love this game. I yet again can sing my buns off and do have rhythm but bringing it to a game is something else. But there are actually a handful of music games on the pc but I don't know too much about them as a whole.

[-] PindoLek24@szmer.info 9 points 1 month ago

Walk to the nature, masturbation, sex, meditation and a medication.

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 4 points 1 month ago

ill skip the last but otherwise alright.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think medication helps in some very real ways. But of course, there are always side-effects and you have to approach it with an openness that both parties are coming in pretty blindly and you've both got a common goal to get you to where you want to go. So it's a lot of trial and error, but when you find things that work for you it just kinda - *clicks* and you don't feel different than who you are but almost kinda...better? That sounds absolutely awful, but by that I mean the things that stood in your way that made it hard for you to do whatever you want to do day to day become a lot easier to achieve without being detrimental in other areas of your life.

And I was anti-medication for about 650 years. But it's helped me, quite a bit =)

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 1 points 1 month ago

im not anti per se but more last resort type. I was worse though. I have learned to start taking pain medication after a surgery and not wait until it gets bad enough to take (because it can take quite a bit of time to take effect and when the hospital ones wear off it can come on strong and sudden)

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

Yeah, my mom is so anti-medication she has surgeries and just winces through the recovery and it's absolutely miserable to watch. I once was in so much pain that I went into shock and if an amazing most lovely nurse on the face of this planet (I LOVE YOU SARBJIT!) hadn't helped me I am not sure what would have happened. I'm not even joking, it was bad. Really bad @_@!!

I am also taking some stuff right now that hasn't fixed everything, but I am way more functional right now than I was prior (cause it got bad for a while there too - was stuck in bed for a majority of the year and could barely walk). SO! I am pro-medication but as long as you and your provider can reach a mutual space with it and you feel like it's helping and not hurting your being =)! Cheers =)!!

[-] PindoLek24@szmer.info 1 points 1 month ago

In total psychotropics in ASD is lesser prescribed, have a lesser effect in autistic population, but not for each patient. From other hand each pharmacologic substance is another substance, and each psychotherapist is another man, finally. If you take a therapy, you take side effects of it. There is calculation. And a harder life is not a better life, that's just what culture teaches.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I mean I'm AuDHD so there's that. But also not a psychologist but I think I read something about how there's three categories of mental disorders and that the one both ADHD and Autism lay in are in executive functioning. I think the other two were...personality and mood? And I think those are given more kinda like - mind altering drugs. Cause I don't really feel any different when I am taking my medication. It just kinda helps clear up my head a bit. I can function (personally) on or off of it if I needed to. But I know individuals who are drastically different on/off drugs. For better or worse. Like people with bipolar who can't get out of bed because they can't move an inch or shift to mania and have no filter to what they'd be open to.

*But pairing medication with therapy always helps. Having someone you feel safe enough to talk with - that's the stuff. And if they can give you a relatively objective response to your word smoosh, even better!

[-] PindoLek24@szmer.info 1 points 1 month ago

If you meet the pharmacological criteria, then it's most likely that you have what's indicated by your reaction to the medications.

[-] PindoLek24@szmer.info 1 points 1 month ago

Prophylaxis in psychiatry also is presence.

[-] PindoLek24@szmer.info 1 points 1 month ago

In my case pharmacy it's vital reason. Some people who need medication and have doubts in this, can convince their to take medication Jerzy Vetulani.

"But it’s helped me, quite a bit =)" Finally you take or not? Help you administration or prohibition?

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

Oh yeah, I take =)! Me with adderall and without very different. It kinda takes all the soup in my brain and puts it in a funnel and I like that about it. Instead of thinking 50 things at once, I just think about one thing - but my channel can still flip by association. So I know for sure it's not a "cure" but between the two I feel like a Buddhist monk =P!

[-] PindoLek24@szmer.info 1 points 1 month ago

If you developed the noble eightfold path, a meditation could be better than sex, but it cost a lot of time. For Autistic it can be more difficult. From another side part of people may have a talent for meditation.

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 2 points 1 month ago

is meditation the main method of cultivating the various right ways. Feels like house before the cart to get to it to improve meditation rather than improve meditation to get to that.

[-] PindoLek24@szmer.info 1 points 1 month ago

U can think inaccuracy, incorrectly. You may be able to draw the bowstring, but still miss the target. In the case of meditation, it sometimes takes 10 years to feel something.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

I'd like to think we might all have certain pieces of the puzzle but we might not have the big picture view. Likewise I think it's incredibly healthy to accept things as what they are, but to be honest (and this is a hot take here) I think a lot of westerners overly-idealize Buddhist philosophy. But as a mixed kid, eh! I like it, but I don't sit in any one camp. People talk about how humble monks are only eating what they are offered. But honestly, it's a social expectation. In a different space, monks would not thrive because it might not be something so readily being offered and in turn they would experience a level of stressors that push their very beliefs to their core. That's why there's a lot of jokes about things like meditating in isolation on anger only to be annoyed when those practices actually get pushed. In theory all individuals regardless of background, personality, stressors - etc should be able to reach enlightenment. But I think in actuality, it takes a certain alignment of the stars and it's fool-hearty to think otherwise. But that's just me, and what do I know? I'm a messy human. (I always anecdotally remember that one of the most materialistic people I've met in my life was a former Buddhist monk =P!)

I will say though, that in my travels the happiest people I've ever met in my life were a SE Asian Islamic/Buddhist combo. They didn't have much, but they had each other. And to be honest, it really taught me how to mind my ps & qs when it comes to want vs need and what one truly needs to be happy.

But at the end of the day, it's shown over and over again that meditation in some form helps people much like exercise and doing it in any capacity is worthwhile =)!

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 1 points 1 month ago

yeah im not much for it as a religion but since I was young I have been obsessed with philosophy including in religion and truth. Currently the four noble truths are about the closest I have come. Take out the rebirth thing but otherwise seems like it. My cuirrent form looks at accpetance a lot which you had right in your second sentence. All the same one of the big acceptances for me is I will likely finish up my time without understanding truth in the purest sense.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

I totally feel this. See, I don't think any one religion has the beginning, the middle, and the end. Which you could say about anyone, because how the hell is anyone right about everything 100% of the time. Or have 100% of the coverage of consensus. We try to mimick this with observation and study (basically learning), but we don't have all the answers. I think for sure right now we're all in this giant space of walking the unknown. And if we don't let stuff like this go from time to time it'll drown our minds.

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 1 points 1 month ago

im moved from any religion not having 100% to pretty much all of them having close enough to 0% to be 0%. The Qanon thing made me reasses how groupthink works.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

I get so worried when I think about what isolation, silent suffering, and groupthink does to people. It fucks me up, because I didn't entirely understand it until I did. Then I realized how vulnerable we all are, and how many sharks are out there looking to get a power-trip at minimum adding a little chaos into the world and trampling on people's hearts. If addiction is a social disease, I think in the future they'll have some kinda diagnosis for people suffering from what they do to people like incels. But we're not making it any better in this world acting like we've got the answers - the other side doesn't and all the people listening to them are fuck-nuts. I think about the guy who killed his mixed kids. It was super sick how he did it, but he was also terribly unwell. And what got him to that point? I wish we created a society built on understanding, instead of ridicule. And I often wonder is it just a part of us? An intrinsic part of us? Cause a hundred years back I was listening to NPR and I remember the guy talking about how he wanted to find more commonality between all people yet he was profoundly affected in realizing that even he himself had this elitist edge of feeling better than others due to his educational standing. It made him question if it was something built in, if people need to feel superior to another group of individuals that they see below them in order to thrive. And it kinda gave me the thought to. I mean I'll be the first to say "Hey, at least you're not that asshole!" and point at Trump. And I think you know, feeling sorry for the global elite as a whole is kind of a pointless affair (as in celebrity worship on the whole) but I will say this...

I do feel sorry for Trump in some sense. He seems to be stuck in some kinda doddering space that is clearly exacerbated by the circuit he's being run through in order to pretty much guarantee his failure pending that AMERICANS VOTE (!!!!). People are pointing and laughing and saying look at him, he's fucking up all over the place. What a fuck! But I don't really think it's fair to tax a human on that level and then pretend like the playing field is level. But also he's a fuck, so ultimately - eh. But I am not going to celebrate cutting someone off at the knee and then laughing at their inability to stand.

Mind you, I am for sure not pro-Trump in any universe. I am just a humanist, and I think there's something really twisted about stuff like that as a whole. Like, when people want power only to subjugate their oppressors. Or like - how a ton of portrayals of white guys in the media started to look like absolutely idiots or be fetishized or harassable. Cause fuck off with all harassment, but for sure you can't put the shoe on the other foot and then start doing the same FUCKING thing that you hated previously. That's just dumb.

But eh, here's a super rant. Either way it sounds like you've got a solid and level head on your shoulders and I think that will take you further. At least emotionally, in this world. Idk about anything else. So kudos =)~

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 1 points 1 month ago

I sorta get you on the feeling sorry for him. I have that with a lot of folks but that level playing field is in his favor so I might feel a bit sorry for him and musk. stuck in the same system that they desperately want to shore up because they are on top yet missing out on what humanity has to offer because they can't get passed having the most money points. all the same I feel way more sorry for someone just trying to be a good world citizen and contribute to the extent they can but want a bit of fun and niceness for themselves to.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

I feel like I know Musk, because I was friends with him. As in, someone who was like him. And I know that sounds weird, but he seems just like your standard autistic anime nerd. I mean of course there's layers, because he's freakin' rich and he's for sure doing the world dirty right now. But I think ultimately he's in the soup too. He seems to be keeping poor-bedfellows and it's really pushed his brains past the limits. But further more he suffers from what my former friend suffers from - which I saw on here Mr. Beast suffering from too. He can't seem to take criticism. And I don't think it's because he was around a bunch of yes men. And my sibby has this too. Criticism sends the two I know into INSTANT critical meltdown. Where they just break as a whole, and start throwing shit and their eyes get crazy and they just...idk. I can't describe it any other way than - if you've been around it you know. Stuff gets broken, they're decent folks but their brains just can't handle that kinda talk. It's like it causes the most painful cognitive dissonance they can experience.

I don't think there's any free land left on this Earth, but I always heard if you find yourself a patch - you shut the hell up about it and keep your head low. I think about this a lot when I think about the politics of the West. Because I think people in the west are hyper-liberal and their views are wonderful at face value (cause fuck all the isms) but are unrealistic in application. I always thought I was liberal, but coming out here I can see I am not a) the "right" kind of liberal and b) not this kind of liberal (which leads back to a). I am not conservative by any means, I would say my political ties might even lean towards socialism. I just don't understand how a majority of these well-wished systems are supposed to functionally be implemented. Let alone with what money?

And I've likewise heard you tax the rich, they leave the country - the entire country loses power as a whole. Which I think is why you're seeing so few countries implementing said systems. But eh, I mean I am not saying that shit's not messed up as a whole. I guess more so I am just saying that (in Trump's instance) anyone put under the extreme stressors he's been being put under this past year would show signs of it. Also in Musk's case, his dumb ass just needs to stop being on blast - take a seat and stop trying to look cool. Especially to men who have the mindset of teenage boys. He'd do well going on a meditation retreat or three. He just needs some grounding.

Also all celebrity worship needs to stop. In The Simpsons they've got a Tree House of Horror where all the town's mascots come to life and start wrecking havoc. What kills them is people stop paying attention to them. And it's actually why I created a PieFed account in the first place (and got off of Reddit as a whole). Because I don't give a fuck about Trump, Taylor Swift, and Elon Musk and for some reason scores of news were just surrounding those three with fifty people saying the same thing and grinding on each other for all being so "righteous." Just bums me out.

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 1 points 1 month ago

I don't have a link to it but there is a video about how rich people get caught up not just in the race to wealth but also the limitations. Like they can't cash our their net worth because of contracts and it would just crash out the companies and such. It gave an example though of a dot com guy who sold out for a few hundred mil and lives the good life. someone in the fediverse responded to another comment I had around this subject and said his name which I can't recall but it sounded like it was the myspace creator (which unfortunately I liked but it died just like my first website I liked was excite but yahoo steamrolled them)

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

I had no clue, but it does make sense if you actually think about it. But that also shows that there's some seriously bad rigging issues in this world. I will say that I honestly know nothing, but I do realize that with the right team behind you - you for sure could even get away with murder and come out clean. I think the concept is that the package would be the incentive to be a CEO, but honestly I think there would be individuals lined up to be CEOs with or without such a fine package.

I often think about this sweet woman I met once while down south in Chicago. She was begging outside of RUSH in the freezing cold with absolutely nothing to really keep her from getting frostbite. She was in such a bad way, I don't really believe she's with us anymore, but my heart went out to her then too. I never was a person of means, but I got by okay. I grabbed her what I could, I gave her a hug and kiss, and went on my way. But she was such a sweet woman even though she was missing a hand and begging with one of those fountain drink cups. She had jack squat inside the cup, and the intersection was large and lacked any real point of entry for her. I think about her a lot because I can't really understand why we can have things like marble countertops in this world and not feed and house our people. So in that sense, I get really wigged out. But like I said I don't think we're getting anywhere with anyone by pointing at rich folks and saying "YOU GUYS FUCKING SUCK, GIVE US MONEY!"

Also on the homeless brigade, I met Fred Hampton's brother. He was also stuck begging, and probably not of this world anymore. His feet looked like two lumps of frozen shit. They were mashed up so badly that he had to hobble to get anywhere. He was a loving sweet guy, but hot damn it's crazy how this world assigns the haves and the have nots.

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[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

I mean everyone's gotta find the way they can meditate. Or at least, by themselves. Cause you sit me in a temple and I can be as quite as a church mouse outside of discussion periods. But at home it's a bit harder. I use a couple of techniques and switch them up depending on what I need. But I have a song that I will always meditate to that gets me in the chill spot. And yeah it's got some heavy D&B but hell if it doesn't zen me out like a baby being swaddled. So idk?

Also on calm they have an awesome meditation where you find a space in your body that is restless and you sit with it, then you take your minds eye and push it out as far as you can think of - a mountain top, a plane in the sky - whatever and then you yoyo it back and forth like that. I got a year free, and absolutely loved this meditation.

[-] PindoLek24@szmer.info 3 points 1 month ago

And relationships - yes I'm Asperger.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

Simple human does simple things to chill out. Feel this =)

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 6 points 1 month ago

When I need to calm down super fast I literally pretend I am an old school zen-buddhist monk and pull my arms up to my side bent (breathing in) and then push them down saying "zen body, zen mind" all while doing a big long breath out. Plus side is when I do this around people it seems to always illicit laughs, and not in the bad way. So that also helps cool me down. Sometimes being a muppet can be a blessing =P!

I can fidget with my septum piercing all day and make faces like I'm taking a nasty poop or having a really weird think and just be with it because you know - my body so =P!

I take my thumb and rub my finger like I've got one of those worry stones, only it's my index finger instead of a stone. It's a low-low one and Idk if anyone even knows I do this. I also do "wave-toes" which are like flowering my toes back and forth and man it's calming.

Humming is basically like medicine to me. I heard it stimulates your vagus nerve, and I think it's true. I also sing, and think I might be a bit louder overall because of it. I say this because when I cough when I'm sick it's really loud and deep. And I think practicing something that utilizes your diaphragm probably strengthens it. So humming might not work for everyone? But it sure works for me.

Lastly I destroy my cheeky-cheeks. Sorry cheeks. But you're my chew toy.

Actually there's something expressly not mentioned in that if something is distressing me like a five-star alarm I will remove myself from said thing and typically it seems to cause no real trouble. And to keep myself less-stressed over high stress situations I just give things an (insane) amount of practice until things flow so I am less freaked da-fugg out.

As for chill stuff I'm pretty standard in that I love watching things that feel humanistic in some way to me (although I tend to watch animated things more, and will say growing up I dug anime but am not really about it anymore although I can watch some of my older stuff), love hanging with my missus and our pets and doing whatever is "on the agenda," love when the creativity bug bites in any manner (writing, drawing, singing, dancing, sewing, painting, etc.), will always think of books as my best-friends (because I love them dearly), like to cook some good food and chill.

I like nature, and have always appreciated it in whatever form I've been around. But I am having trouble that it seems like anywhere and everywhere I go now it's almost too cluttered, crowded, and everything feels like it's "on-rails." I will say that I think as the population has expanded it has gotten harder for me to live as a whole. But I am doing okay right now. It's weird to love people, but also get incredibly overstimulated by them.

[-] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

An app called Finch, and directed breathing exercises.

Also calling a friend to loudly vent at who has a very unique ability to calm me down again. Usually its enough to have someone listen to me and acknowledge my frustration

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 4 points 1 month ago

That's a good one. You're right there. And why I applaud people who can be even-keel in a world like this. It's just something else.

I used breathing zone for so long I can hear the sounds in my head now and don't have the app anymore. Thanks for the response =)!

[-] minibyte@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

I do breathing exercises as well. I think concentrating on the counting keeps my brain busy enough to ignore external stimuli.

[-] Genoke@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago
[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 1 month ago

Which trees? Oak? Elm? Pine? 🤔

[-] bookcrawler@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Depends, but if it's a panic spiral I'll try to make myself as big as possible for a moment. It's a nice stretch but also helps reign in my brain.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

I freakin' hate panic spiraling because it seems like by that point nothing I do will actually calm me down and it takes me like a looonnnggggg time to decompress from it. And by that I mean I can get my booty-bin outta the space of pain, I can do all the stuff I love on the face of this Earth and it'll still be riding me until like....5-10 hours after the fact. Idk if this is normal, but for sure it's a thing for me.

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 3 points 1 month ago

for me its breathing and stretching and sorta meditation since im never really sure if I achieve meditation.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

I once knew a monk who basically broke it down like this (and I'm talking monk since he was a little one) as long as you focus on one solid thing you're meditating. So he said you can be sweeping and meditating, doing the dishes and meditating, sitting and thinking about driving a sports car you like and meditating. As long as you just focus on that one thing. And I've always taken it as thems the rules since =P!

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 1 points 1 month ago

yeah I think I sorta achieve a state sometimes but its generally momentary (or in the best cases seems momentary) but I find it hard to stop the encroaching thoughts.

[-] cashmaggot@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

I think we only get little dribbles of it. I read a book on Focus a hundred years ago and it basically stated the second that you realize you're in that space - is the second you lose it. Encroaching thoughts are a difficult one, but it's suggested more practice makes it easier. Also just figuring out what is and isn't worth it in life. And I guessssss letting things go. But eh. I'm not the greatest with that one. So stuff I can't let go, I try to sink instead. Because I might just not be ready to drop whatever "it" is.

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this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
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