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this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
653 points (95.2% liked)
Mildly Interesting
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This is for strictly mildly interesting material. If it's too interesting, it doesn't belong. If it's not interesting, it doesn't belong.
This is obviously an objective criteria, so the mods are always right. Or maybe mildly right? Ahh.. what do we know?
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It’s not a stunt. Some people just make better friends than partners. If there was no animosity during the break up, there’s no reason they can’t remain friends.
Not saying this is the case here because I don't know, but on the other hand of that abusers are really good at manipulating their way back in to relationships, so unfortunately that's also an option.
I don't think it's particularly helpful or even healthy to speculate about abuse in every conceivable scenario. The guy's a whisky aficionado who goes on frequent trips to distilleries and has uploaded and average of a whisky related video every other day for several years. You can see by the thumbnails a story of him growing a wall of whisky over the years. That factor alone is difficult to live with if you're not on the same wavelength as that person. It's not, however, an issue that would require you to burn bridges after separation.
You're not making the point you think you are, he clearly has an unhealth relationship with alcohol (and the woman in the video) and calling him an "aficionado" doesn't change that.
The person I replied to was the one who started speculating, and I added an alternative speculation, which seemed much more realistic to me. all things considered.
You are also speculating.
So fuck off with somehow getting upset over people bringing up the possibility of abuse because it makes you uncomfortable (and the reasons why are for you to examine with yourself).
You must be mistaken. I'm the one you originally replied to and I made no speculation. I said that the video isn't an act (it demonstrably isn't, having watched his channel for years), and that some people are better suited as friends than as romantic partners. In relationships that don't involve abuse or infidelity, it's common for former partners to be civil or even friendly to one another.
You know nothing about his relationship with alcohol, other than the fact that he has a Youtube channel where he reviews whisky. Having a collection of whisky is not evidence of substance abuse, just as me having a thousand books doesn't mean I have an unhealthy relationship with books.
None of this is making me uncomfortable. I have grandparents and parents who married young, grew up to have different priorities in life, and remained good friends afterwards. I've just got back from my baby brother's wedding where they all had an amazing time sharing a villa and having a party. I'm a happier, more mature person from having witnessed amicable breakups where people remain good friends afterwards.
You're the one who seems personally affected by someone eight years ago reviewing whisky and breaking up with their wife. The moment you see an ostensibly healthy continuing relationship, your first thought is abuse. That's on you. You may need to reflect on why that's your kneejerk reaction.