69

As I understand it there's two main kinds of empathy: cognitive and affective.

Cognitive empathy is the ability to perceive and understand the emotional states of others, and affective empathy is actually sharing those emotions yourself.

I do the former, but the latter doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Like, if I see someone being sad, it's possible that I'll be sad or angry that they're in that situation, but those will be my feelings about what's going on, not theirs.

But for those of you who inherently feel-what-you-see, how does this work with, say, anger?

If you see someone being terribly angry, do you feel angry yourself? If so, who do you feel angry at? If you see a fight going on, do you hate both participants?

If someone is angry at you, are you also angry at you?

I guess this applies to any targeted emotion, but anger is a good example.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] WatDabney@sopuli.xyz 16 points 5 months ago

For myself, other people's anger makes me really uncomfortable, and I avoid it as much as possible, in part specifically because if I don't, I end up sharing in it, but without a reason or a target. It's really unpleasant because in a sense, it's not real.

Real anger - my own anger - feels complete. Not that it's pleasant or anything - it's still anger. But in a way, it's a sort of relief to feel it, since it at least makes sense. I have a reason for it and a target for it, so it fits. Empathetic anger is weird and unsettling, since it's just there, but it's not a complete, sensible thing.

And you're right about targeted emotions, at least in my experience, and while anger is a good example, it's not the worst.

Grief is awful, because it's such a horrible, desolate feeling, and just that much worse when it doesn't even really mean anything.

Jealousy is another bad one - in fact, thinking about it, I'm tempted to say it's the worst of them all, because it's so unpleasant, and in multiple ways, and it's so entirely pointless without an actual reason or target (it's arguably fairly pointless even with both).

On a somewhat different note, just because I'm thinking about the trials and tribulations of affective empathy - embarrassment is weirdly bad. Partly it's that it's unpleasant, but more it's that it's such a common aspect of other people's enjoyment - there's a great deal of comedy that hinges on laughing at other people's embarrassment, and it's all completely lost on me, because I'm stuck just feeling pointlessly vicariously embarrassed.

Broadly, the way I have to deal with all of it is to try to avoid situations in which I'm going to be subjected to other people's unpleasant emotions, and if I find myself in one, to try to shut myself off from whatever they're feeling. I'm okay up to a point, but I can feel it coming if I'm getting to the point that it's going to suck me in, and pretty much all I can do then is resign myself to it or throw up a barricade and just shut it out. Which sort of ironically makes me come across as aloof - as if I'm insensitive rather than overly sensitive. That gnaws at me, but there really isn't much I can do about it, since I already have enough to deal with with my own emotions, and just don't have the fortitude to deal with everyone else's as well.

[-] MaceyDay@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

Are you me? You said it much better than I could.

this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2024
69 points (97.3% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35717 readers
1668 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS