27

I've never thought about it until now, the only times when I ever felt fulfilled is when I'm doing something for others and helping them achieve their goals. I myself have goals and dreams of my own but I've never feel motivated to work towards them for myself, it just feels like a boring chore.

And thanks to that, my life is an absolute mess now, I know what I should have done for my own good but I just couldn't find the will to do it without someone forces me, and sometimes even that doesn't work.

I'm not saying I'm a good person, I'm anything but a saint, I might enjoy helping others but for some I just don't give a damn.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] 108beads@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There's a saying in the caregiving community, those of us keeping loved ones with dementia and various disabilities afloat, alive and (hopefully) thriving.

Don't set yourself on fire to keep your loved one warm.

Meaning, if you don't take care of yourself, you cannot help others. You could set yourself on fire, but the flames go out quickly, and then you're a crispy, crunchy mess—and both of you are far worse off than when you started.

Put your own oxygen mask on first, before trying to help others.

And… sometimes that means saying "no." Which is hard, but necessary.

this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2023
27 points (100.0% liked)

Mental Health

3757 readers
1 users here now

Welcome!

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.

2-All posts and comments must be helpful and supportive. Do not put vulnerable people at risk.

3-Do not DM or ask to speak privately to any of our members unless they specifically request it.

If a person from this community disturbs you in a comment, please report the comment. If you receive a DM you did not request, send a screenshot of the DM in a message to a moderator. This is a bannable offense.

4-Suicide, Self-Harm, Death-- Extended discussions are STRONGLY DISCOURAGED here. First, mods and community members are caring people, but not experts in crisis situations. Second, we want to avoid Lemmy becoming like many commercial social media platforms, where comments can snowball into counterproductive talk.

If you or someone you know needs more help than can be found here, please refer to the pinned resources.

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

- Therapy

Neurodegenerative Disease Support

ADHD

Autism

Fibromyalgia

TMJ

Chronic Pain

Bipolar Disorder

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Friends and Family of People with Addiction

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Community Moderation

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to ZenGrammy for more information.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS