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Unsure of the future with my current fiance.
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this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
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Relationship Advice
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Yeah, that's what it's looking like they want.
Is that what you want? Is that what you discussed or envisioned together? A breadwinner and a homemaker? Because that can work if it's what you both want, but there are several reasons that arrangement has fallen out of vogue. It creates an imbalance of power and an uneven distribution of labor. It can foster resentment when neither individual fully understands the struggles of the other. You think you're doing more than your fair share all day at work, and resent the money they spend. Meanwhile, they spend all day keeping up the house and raising children, and you come home and leave some dirty dishes in the sink or your boots on the floor, and they think you don't respect or appreciate the things they do.
As in all things, communication is the key to a happy relationship. Talk about your desires and concerns, talk about what you want from the relationship and from your life. Can you afford to live on a single income? Do you want to sacrifice family time to earn a living? Being responsible for a single income family means you'll need to put work first a lot, or risk letting everyone down. Is that what they want?
Not at first. This is fairly recent. She already gets snippy about me not helping that much around the house. I do help but I'm not taking on half of the work.
Ok, well, best of luck. Therapy is always a good idea, and couples therapy might be worth the discomfort of getting to couples therapy.
Thank you :)