836
He revealed the secrets !
(jlai.lu)
cross-posted from: https://jlai.lu/post/6002282
He revealed the secrets !
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2024
836 points (97.3% liked)
Programmer Humor
19817 readers
43 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
It's mind bending that there are actual humans on the planet, paid a shit tonne more than software developers, who not only believe the parody highlighted by @SwiftOnSecutity, but treat and share it as gospel, acting on it with nutjob metrics to "increase productivity" whilst salivating over the hyperbole around "AI" that is sweeping the globe, dreaming of a better world.
One without those pesky developers with their brains, thoughts and opinions.
But, what do I know, I've been in this profession for only 40 years..
You're probably not the biggest asshole in the room. In my experience, the person making decisions (and the most money) is never the most qualified, most competent, most efficient, or hardest working individual. They are just the biggest asshole in the room. They're willing to be loud and belligerently wrong, they're willing to take credit for the accomplishments of others, they're willing to shift blame onto someone else, they're willing to demand everyone else work harder than they do, and they're willing to demand far more than their fair share of the profit.
And they will be mollified by the rest because nobody is a bigger asshole. Most people just want to do their jobs, and don't want to rock the boat. Competent people see opportunity to ride in the wake of the biggest asshole in the room.
If you ever watch Shark Tank, you'll see they are masters of the craft.
So one day the different body parts were arguing over who should be in charge.
The eyes said they should be in charge, because they were the primary source of information about the world.
The stomach said it should be in charge because digestion was the source of energy.
The brain said it should be in charge because it was in charge of information processing and decision-making.
The rectum said nothing, just closed up shop.
Before long, the vision was blurry, the stomach was queasy, and the brain was foggy.
Assholes have been in charge ever since.
The problem is that most of us have swallowed the 'competence uber alles' ideal that school fed us through exams and scoring, when the game really is mostly politics (as in interpersonal relationships). So we are understandably disappointed when the incompetent get promoted through brown nosing or luck, when we should be reevaluating the rules of the game.
That's a lie that assholes tell you in order to exploit your competence and effort.
That's always fun in sales. The vendor that brazenly promises two-and-a-half mirage for half the price will win the bid, and the sales people will move on to a different employer when the real budget for the project becomes clear.
You know what they do to old engineers don't you?
EDIT : https://youtu.be/fN-VAdAnoZ4?t=31
" you know what they do with engineers when they turn 40? they take them out and shoot them"
Does it involve quicklime?
I'll take it over QuickTime
I think I botched the Office space quote, I thought tom said something at some point about
"you know what they do to old engineers don't you? They take them out back and *gun noise*"
EDIT : https://youtu.be/fN-VAdAnoZ4?t=31
" you know what they do with engineers when they turn 40? they take them out and shoot them"
You're good, I was making an unrelated BOFH reference, even more obscure. 🤣
I fixed it, it's from Primer.
EDIT : https://youtu.be/fN-VAdAnoZ4?t=31
" you know what they do with engineers when they turn 40? they take them out and shoot them"
That movie was... ... ...something!