this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024
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ADHD Women
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That is ADHD in a nutshell. Source: Severe ADHD diagnosed at 49.
Oooh. How'd you make it so far without a diagnosis if it's severe?
I got diagnosed at 40 because my son was diagnosed and I saw a lot of similar behaviours so figured why not.
I wouldn't classify myself as severe and hell I make good money with a good career so clearly I manage it.
That said, I look at peers who got diagnosed young and regret I didn't get the same. I struggle with RSD and specifically emotional regulation. Successful in everything but relationships which is arguably the most important thing in life. Where diagnosed peers got assistance and understanding I had a childhood filled of "do better" and "if only he applied himself" or "shut up".
It's disheartening.
That said, I'm happy for my son and hopefully he will have more success.
Looking back it's pretty clear. I'm not sure how I made it with a relatively successful career and married with 2 kids. My wife made me go get evaluated because it was driving her crazy. My son also has it along with severe autism.
Hindsight 20/20 here too.
What's important is we give our kids the tools we didn't have.
I'm also working with autism diagnoses with my kids too. You got this. The universe doesn't hand you problems it doesn't think you can't handle.
I got diagnosed young and didn't get a lot of the support you're talking about. It was more like they threw ritalin at me and expected me to be normal now. Also, Ritalin was terrible.
I think it has less to do with the early diagnosis and more with the public perception when the diagnosis was made. There's more understanding now than before.
Yeah sorry when I said support a lot of what I meant was the understanding part. Simply having a diagnosis changes a person's perception. That's what I was lacking growing up as I'm sure many like me can attest.
Simply having the acknowledgement I'm different and maybe I'm loud in class for a reason that I'm not to blame could have helped with my at times crippling self awareness and internal criticism.
I'd argue a lot of my negative perceptions of myself and the world around me stem from having to grow up alone and struggling in silence for all those things neurotypical people take for granted.
Sometimes a simple label is support enough.